Can't quite believe it masel! As I usually say when I get to another thousand, cheers for everyone putting up with endless useless posts, my wicked sense of humour and endless talking about Glasgow Celtic. BUT......For anyone who wonders about my love for the band, just go to the story section of the site, apparently I'm up fer next years bookers prize for short stories:D
I run out of ideas what to do for this post, but while I was going through all my New Order cuttings and magazine interviews, I found some alternative lyrics I did about a year ago for Here To Stay and Young Offender, and after all the talk about Procession in the Substance "It's a Knockout" competition, I decided to pen some more alternates, there's also a poor attempt at 1963, when Donovan came to Corby for my birthday this year.
Notice: These lyrics are harmful......but my Here To Stay can actually be sung along with the original.
HERE TO STAY (dedicated to Rover)
Who is this dog, that follows me that little shit, he is scruffy the smelly mut, I did do find a bone, is on his mind
Like a daft dog, chasing bad cheeties barking so loud, and eating sweeties he'll drive you away, drive you insane so I removed, all of his teeth
The gumsy dog, looked ill to me a second look, the vet did see his mouth, was rotten inside a needle, removed his life
Look at that dog, stiff as a hard on paws in the air, his bone's in my garden he'll no longer fart, no longer bark he shouldnae have followed me, back from the park.
Procession (for the forums)
There is no end to this, I have seen this place but I don't recognise all these things that Huntsman's said It's a forum you know, that's been there all yer life tries to make the world a better place, and Jarvo's found a wife At night it gets quiet and you'd dearly like to turn away An escape that fails, cos Rocket Mick's on the phone HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO
There is no end to this, I can't look away from the forum I cannot leave, History'd say there is no room to move or try to look away remember Timbo is strange and he keeps getting stranger every day a mass of harmless attitudes, Don, Hibster and Old Blue no matter what they say to you please remember, Shug is always right.
Young Offender (to Michelle)
Pictures of an image of a pornstar who cannot be named blue knickers were her colour, 69 was her number she likes a spanking, when she's wearing rubber If I keep my distance, in a bedroom that did does smell it's because of the need, to lie down and recover 3 hours on the job, and I havnae had no supper
CHORUS We're busy shaggin all the time (whatever it takes for a 69) I'll take the handcuffs off your hands (all the sex we ever have, leaves me feeling so devine)
She's blonde, she does dirty things watching porno's, eating pineapple rings give me a beer, I need to recover the wee man's getting sore, I don't want him to suffer
Repeat Chorus.
1963 (for Brasco, all the following events are NEARLY true)
It was January 2003, when Donnie came round with some booze for me he said I bought it for you, it's better than sniffin glue and I bought it for you cos it's your birthday too he smelt of Old Spice, but had a bottle of wine we had to down it quick, there was little time I had a drink with him, he had a line with me
He told me to close my eyes, my gift would be a great surprise I saw tears within his eyes, he never meant to snort SALT Oh God Donnie don't snort without looking, there's alternate ways, you could have done a bomb what will I put on my chips all the salt has gone Donnie lets go for a bevvy, we'll save for America another night for God's sake won't you listen to me
And tho he was ashamed that he had snorted salt Donnie came round with a bottle of malt and he often remembered how it used to be before that fateful night, down in Corby there was so many places he could have gone his local haunt, a gay bar in Brighton he told me not to tell no-one or my gift would be a night in London I saw a sparkle in his eyes, he'd sneaked off for another line Oh God Donnie, you've snorted all the coke There's so many ways your life has changed, but please I beg don't blame this on me Donnie, you keep on taking E I will change your life for a little price If you do me a favour and ditch the Old Spice.
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN
;)