New Order consuming crisps during 'Getting Things Ready'? - evidence here

Hello to one and all on this fine and happy day. Thanking you all very much for your beautiful and very touching words on the '1,000 Posts Old' thread... it brought a tear to my three eyes.

After careful consideration of the general content of my last 1,000 posts I am entering into the next 1,000 fully refreshed, invigorated with a clear mind and raring to unleash even more 'Huntsmania' paraphernalia onto us all. I've stretched myself on this one, knowing 1001 would have to be a killer... and I think I've just discovered a real unknown pleasure.

Okay are you all sitting down comfortable?... then I shall begin...

Right then, now that the US has finally 'Got their Own Things Ready' everyone can join in this little belter. This one is along the similar lines of Facsimilie's thread, who insisted 1963 morphed out of control on the very last seconds of the closing bars into some other song of no particular persuasion (judges still out).

Okay so play '60MPH' and as the closing music fades wham-up the speakers to untold levels. Quite clearly, you can hear either Hooky or Barney (perhaps Stephen) ...................... CONSUMING CRISPS AND RUSTLING THE BAG!!!!!

Well then, I hope this proves my crisp to NO ratio is not so futile after all.

Remember, the evidence is there for us all to hear.

Hunts.

huntsy - are u sure it's the rustling of s packets - or could it be the rustling of RIZLA papers!!!!!!!

Originally posted by stutter huntsy - are u sure it's the rustling of s packets - or could it be the rustling of RIZLA papers!!!!!!!

Zig-Zag are much better than Rizla...

Well, Huntsy, glad to see you came through the festivities your same old reliable self. We're looking forward to the next 1,000 with the same relish we bring to a bag of Lay's Bistro Gourmet Applewood Barbecue potato chips. I did try to hear Facsy's thing at the end of 1963, but with no success. And now you tell me there's hidden meaning at the end of Sixteen Miles an Hour. Are you sure it's not the sound of a map being consulted as the aging members of the band strain their eyes trying to find the location of those pagan idols everyone has been telling them about?

But then again...

Now Patrick your teasing me with the Apple flavoured fettlers now... all I can say is I was in my bomber last night on my way homeward bound and I played 15 miles per second extraordinarily loud and noticed an anomaly at the rear end of the song beam.

Holy moly, it is crisps and the rustling of a packet! - couldn't wait to share it with you. This might sound like a Huntsy Hoax of the finest calibre, I assure you, it isn't. And that's a true story, and if it isn't... it should have been.

Definately not rizzla papers being mushed betwixt an ounce of the finest columbian. I've replayed the segment now a few times to verify my own hearing aid and it is crisps... no doubt in my minds eye.

For anyone who is scared of the volume restrictions in place at most work environments around the globe... no need to panic, this crisp eating can be heard at resonably low volumes!

Well, Huntsy, I have no ability to listen to Six and a Half Miles an Hour until I get home. It's very frustrating; can you tell from the sound what brand and flavor?

How bizarre... I am actually listening to 60mph and eating a packet of pickled onion monster munch as i type this..

to coin a phrase... "Spooky"

Liv

I was hoping noone would ask that. Unfortunately I detected an el cheapo brand, possibly a humble 25gram bag of salt & vinegar obtained from an averagely decorated newsagents for about 18pence. Such a small bag may not be available in the states. You may have multi-packs available, which contain about 18 bags of varying flavours... it may well be one of those.

No pringles or quality packaging could be detected. Possibly a pack lunch entry from Morris's tuck box. If this is true it will cause embarrassment for the band and taint what would have been a very confident set of recording sessions.

I'm not good with grams, Huntsy. After our last discussion on the subject of US potato chip bag sizes, I checked, and the smallest bag seems to be 1.5 ounces. What is that in grams? The Lay's Bistro Gourmet Applewood Barbecue chips come in 2.5 ounce bags. Are you sure that rustling sound is not sour cream and onion flavor?

whilst in the smoke to see n.o. at brixton picked up a copy of the evninstandaaaaad and in the magazine that accompanied it they revealed a new set of crispuscular delights - worms! made by a company called edible foods these were according to said magazine set to replace crisps in pubs!

bleurch.

Have you started your weekend early, Huntsy?

No, I'm back now. If I disappear its due to work. As we creep towards Chrimbo the clients tend to get extremely demanding and meetings crop up more times than a bad Backstreet record.

Or perhaps overdosed on curry flavor Pringles?

Now don't go knocking poor old Backstreet when they're down, being stomped on by the younger lads of INCENSE.

Shit Pats I'm lost with all these boy bands you know. Just when you think your in with the kids another 200 crop up on MTV. It's a case of spot the difference half the time. When all said and done I like some of the Backburner Fledglings. Remember P, for every 27 new boy bands in the states, there's 15 UK ones that never make the grade. Phew!

Just for the records, I rarely divulge Pringles at work - too messy and self-indulgent. The Curry flavour was handed to me by my business partner 'Al me Pal' as him and his bitch never dug the shit the previous night. For that day, and that day only, I was a very lucky (and sickly) Captain.

Well, Huntsy, imagine what it is like for us on this side of the ocean when you guys go on either negative or positive about zillions of groups that have never come close to even being released over here. So what do you think about Nickelback, say? They seem to have borrowed Barney's rhyming dictionary.

That's interesting P man. Your right, the UK is a great place if your into music, everyone and his mother has got a band and usually its quite good. However, that said, I haven't a clue who knickerbocka are.

One things for certain, there's only one ryhming dictionary the quality of Barney 's - could they have stolen it?. There was an old man from chester, who sat on a seat beside her, he stood on a spider and looked down beside her oh that filthy arrogant moon beast from scarborough.

Mmmm, guess I didn't steal it. Maybe its harder than it sounds to make cheese and beans rhyme?

For some reason that reminds me Huntsy, on Regret, our boy rhymes something, I forget what, with "we're" used in a way that no one speaking the English language has ever said in natural speech. So I think that pretty much closes the case on Ragout, don't you?

Patty I can't believe your antagonising me into a full-on confrontation about Regrettable Circumstances. You know fine well I only need an inch to take a mile (or a cm to enhance a kilometre).

Well I'm not going to this time.

If Buster was here we'd attempt a 2 pronged attack in which I would win the war and get the gal.

Okay, Huntsy, let me put it slightly differently. One very minor flaw in a song that is otherwise the best musical achievement in the history of creation is Barney's slightly unnatural use of "we're" in order to achieve a rhyme. Is that better?

Originally posted by Patrick Well, Huntsy, imagine what it is like for us on this side of the ocean when you guys go on either negative or positive about zillions of groups that have never come close to even being released over here. So what do you think about Nickelback, say? They seem to have borrowed Barney's rhyming dictionary.

This must be like when we watch a U.S. comedy and they introduce a 'special guest' to the studio audience cue wild meanwhile in the U.K. when someone who's as famous as Claire Sweeney walks on called Hank Wiseass or something.

Is Claire Sweeney someone famous?

Well Pastie, I accept your point, but if we were to analyse Barney's lyrics and pick out some real naff-chaffer moments take Low-Life from its wrapper and play Facing up to Things.

"Your hair was long, My Eyes was blue", "Guess what I'm 'gonna do for you".

or Sooner than we all Thought... "I think I'll go then when it gets Seasonable'???

of course, I could go on.

To me, its what makes the man an unsung lyrical hero. Who cares if he's the wordsmith satan couldn't bury. Me thinks your attempting to shame the good name of Remit and aim a poisoned arrow at the heart of my very soul.

'Soul'!!! - Patty I forgot to say this very important thing. When I first met my beautiful girlfriend and confessed I was addicted to Pringles she said, oh Pringles... I think they look like how a 'soul' would look if it had a shape!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by Patrick Is Claire Sweeney someone famous?

Ha! - Patty out of all of the famous people in England you picked her. She was semi-famous in one of our long running soapy operas 'Brookside' about a load of scouser families in Liverpoooool. (you know, the place where the Beatniks eminated from).

Recently, she was asked to appear in a celebrity Big Brother - which is a fly-on-the-wall thing where viewers vote out the most boring gaffer.

Since then she's been on the up and up and had a bit of cudos.

I'll say just one thing about her of interest... she has a nice (not quite as ample as I like them) set of mammories.

Now I've read Shimmering Ian's post I realise that he tipped you off about the well nourished Clare Sweetner.

Hank Wiseass sounds like a great name for someone who is averagely famous and sometimes quite funny.

Do you know what American TV show I dearly love and find suitably impressive at each viewing?... The Larry Sanders Show. 'HHHHheeeeyyyy Now'. The irony and quality of scripts is surprising given the trifle you usual produce. (no offence, but we usually get fed utter shite like My Two Dads or Crap Fest in the Zoo).

Mind, I detested the 'It's Garry Shandling' show, thought that was appauling.

What, its against the law to cut the head off a bitch and fuck it?

I doubt whether Patrick will have heard of Squirrel Nutkins El Jarvo - so, to make things easier... The girl Sweetner looks like a fine lady but has the head of a squirrel from a childrens tv show some years ago.

If she treat you to an evening of the good stuff be prepared to soothe your cocker with ointment... midgie bites ahoy... and that's just on your cocker!!!

I laughed when Gary Shandlig used to hoover his flat and your T.V. got interferance.Also very amusing is the way kramer enters Jerry's apartment in that other funny one with the Klein(or is it a De Kerf) MTB constantly on the wall. I've only seen it off the wall once and even then he never road it anywhere, 'get out and ride'

I only picked Claire Sweeney, Huntsy, because Shimmy had just referred to her as someone famous and I had never heard of her. Much more important, though:

"Your hair was long Your eyes was blue Guess what I'm gonna do TO you"

As you'll recall, we recently discussed this song. The third line above is one of my VERY MOST FAVORITE NO lyrics. In the company of "It's never enough until your heart stops beating" etc.

The only TV show I faithfully watch is Roswell.

"Cannibal! The musical" is one of the funniest films ever, by the way!

Originally posted by Allen Jarvis > Originally posted by Patrick> Is Claire Sweeney someone famous?

She looks like Squirrel Nutkin.

Cut the head off and she's alright though. Although there's laws about that kind of thing.

She's actually more attractive in the flesh or she was about three years ago when I saw her.Emanting, as I do, like all Liverpooolians from the same small village in London, I know all the famous Liverpoolians, Stan Boardman, Tarby, Doddy,Austin Powers,Waynesworld and Debbie Jones.

Don't forget old reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus!

Oh, Huntsy, you'll be interested to know I just consumed an entire 6 ounce canister of Pringles (plain flavor, unfortuantely. No other flavor will abide my gastric juices)

Who the hell needs the telly when we've got the Huntsy and Patsy show right here on the orderline. Top crack!! I think i've cracked a rib I was laughing so fuckin hard!!

Okay, Huntsy, I listened to that sound at the end of 6.2 Miles an Hour numerous times, and I've concluded it's the sound of cellophane being eagerly removed from a Britney Spears CD; you know they are always on the lookout for female backing vocals.

Huntsy- that sound that you perceive to be 'crisp wrapper scrunching' after 60mph is none other than Hooky gobbing a standard varietal packet of Walkers Salt & Vinegar. I know this to be true because Hooky's dried potato snack predilections were referred to quite emphatically by Bernard in the recent MuchMusic interview from Japan.

In fact- and I cannot stress this enough- Bernard cited the Hookster's overly dramatic "licking of his fingers after consuming crisps" as being one of the most annoying internal issues within the band circa Republic, and indeed almost brought the awesome foursome unstuck. You see, it's the little things that get to you after a while- friction over the levels of Hooky's bass in the mix was of little consequence- CRISPS were indeed the root of much evil. Crisps!

It appears that H is temporarily AWOL.

Everytime I look in the mirror I realise that crisps are the root of all evil....

Liv

Hello everyone -

Well then, cellophane or Hooky munching a bag of 'el cheapo crisps?... I know where my vote goes.

I did mention it was a cheap bag of the aformentioned and thus feel comfortably reassured with the minor backing shown on this post/thread thing. I did read about the Hookster being very annoying with his crisp addiction. He needs to be very careful because it is quite annoying... not as much as picking your beak but damn close.

Did anyone ever see that documentary about the tests on anti-depressant drugs? - Barney offered himself up for a set of Prozac masters and the film took us into Bernard's household where he was seen pontificating in his little bedroom attempting to write down some lyrics (presumably some that rhyme). The documentary was trying to see if Barnstormer would write more flowingly and happily (happy subject matter) after downing a load of drugs in the form of Prozac instead of 'E'. Can't remember the result of this but the highlight was the knocking on the door mid-discussion with Bernie...

'Come in'

Enter Johnny the boy Marr with a mug of tea and 2 digestives for the Bernie. Turns out that he was penning for the new Eleccy album and the Marr was sat downstairs waiting with the patience of a saint. After a while he must have got bored and decided to make a cup of the affirmitive. Was great to see Sumner dunk a biscuit and eat it... he is a man after my own heart... and my choice in biscuits.

So, Huntsy, are you still angry with me for saying bad things about Regret? And, by the way, what are your feelings about the World and Spooky remixes? Is that story about the tea true, H?

Its becoming difficult working out Huntsman's fact from fiction... what can I do to remedy that situation? - stop talking perhaps.

Yes, the prozac cup of tea story is true, plenty of people in the UK must have seen this documentary so perhaps a backup may appear somewhere down the line.

I really am no fan of re-mixes post 1990, they're just too similar. I do like the Fire Island Regret mix, and the Spooky re-mix was better than the album only because the album version was so very toy-town (just check them synth piano moments... poo-ey).

Could never be ad odds with you P... surely you know this by now!?

:)

Originally posted by Huntsman Its becoming difficult working out Huntsman's fact from fiction... what can I do to remedy that situation? - stop talking perhaps.Yes, the prozac cup of tea story is true, plenty of people in the UK must have seen this documentary so perhaps a backup may appear somewhere down the line.I really am no fan of re-mixes post 1990, they're just too similar. I do like the Fire Island Regret mix, and the Spooky re-mix was better than the album only because the album version was so very toy-town (just check them synth piano moments... poo-ey).Could never be ad odds with you P... surely you know this by now!? :)

I can confirm the said programme

Well, Huntsy, there did seem to be some irritation at me for taking one more poke at R. I thought there was an unspoken understanding that it was more fun to disagree a little than just go on about how terrible Slow Death is. But I really don't mean to say anything offensive. Anyway, I confess I've probably listened far more to the World and Spooky remixes than to the actual album they're derived from. You know they would never show a documentary featuring any member of NO on TV here.

It was before 'Raise the Pressure'. Quite a funny program if I remember..bit embarrassing for the Barnster now though I reckon

Mmm Pats, maybe showing a program in some way relating to New Order might be perceived to be a dig at Britney Spears? - I mean, that would surely intrude her airtime? - Never mind, at least we can all enjoy watching the Crawlin Linkin Park fellas dance around singing the same song in a different order at various stages of the night and day for ever more. At least, until Linkin Park II come out.

Hey Pats I think I've missed something here... and can only pin it down to an abrupt exit to my orderline meanderings. Didn't attempt a breach of talks at any stage (with or without the topic of the good and bad points of Re-dress coming up). Maybe you've taken me the wrong way, and perhaps that was when I was mid-post but had to make a dash for the bog to release a floating demon and thus, severing Patty/Huntsy relations mid-flow.

How can I make this situation up to you?

Hey Facsimile - thanks for backing up my programme you good old egg you. I see you attempted to break the religion post up before war broke out between everyone... no such luck eh!? - I don't know... when will people learn. Speaking of Ireland Facsy, one of my best pals of all time left that place because his dad was worried about unearthing a bomb under his bomber and blowing themselves up inadvertently. Oh well, the chances of anything like that happening in our old street are very minimal... so maybe they made the right move. They were more likely to step in dog shit down our way, which is a damn site better than watching your insides blow 15ft in the air and land on your bonnet... and that's a factoid!

Well, Huntsy, would it be asking too much for your agreement that Crystal is just a teeny-tiny bit better than Road Rage?

Its a difficult one to answer that Patron. What I would say, if I may?, is this. When a New Order song is GREAT, it makes it into a special pile of other GREAT NO songs. Once they are in this exclusive sector of my mind (and other peoples teeth) they stay their for good and this pile is very difficult to segregate - like separating good pringles from bad (almost impossible). i.e. what is better and worse of the GREAT songs? - mmm, tricky shit.

Huntsman's (very short) GREAT pile for example purposes only.

Regression Crystal Carrington Turn My Feet Temptation Thow me a Bone Dreaming about Attacks Mister Dishcloth

Now P P, all of the above, to me, cannot be singled out as better or worse (in greatness) to the other. So, to answer your question... I think Regression just tips it.

Well, that's a fair answer, Huntsy. Actually Crystal Cleanser is in the process of supplanting Turn My Back at the top of the GR heap for me. But if you said to me quick what are your five all-time favorites it would probably take me a week to answer. And now I will display my colossal stupidity: what exactly is Throw Me a Bone?

Leave Me Alone.

I was going to write: Leave Me a Bone

but got carried away (I think you know what I'm saying).

Well, Leave Me A Loan certainly deserves to be in the inner circle; and I do know what you mean about getting carried away. But it would have taken me quite some time to figure that out on my own, Huntsy.

Well, I'm only a post away in times of need. Truth be told P man, when I read some other people's own nicknames for songs I struggle to understand them myself... however, would never admit to being puzzled by my own monster.

(I thought Mister Dishcloth was a particularly amusing name and I may consider that in future posts... or I might just get carried away)

Well Pats I have now 'just noticed' that you had cunningly substituted the title of Leave me Alone with Leave Me A Loan... yet another instance where the Huntsman cannot keep up with his own nonesense.

Dash it... I think I'll stick to animals like glue to a nose.

Yes, Huntsy, I agree Mister Dishcloth is very good. Definitely worth remembering for future use.

Okay, Huntsy, to return to the subject of Crystal versus Regret, having listened to both again last night, there is one obvious category where Regret is far superior, namely the emotional content of the lyrics. The lyrics on Regret feel very genuine and lived, whereas the lyrics on Crystal are synthetic and pretty fake. And certainly in NO's very best things, the lyrics are an important part of the package. However, that said, as pure sound, Crytal goes about as far as possible to overcome lyrics that contribute just about nothing to the overall experience of the song.

Blimey Pats... you won't let this one go will you. I like that in a man (to a lesser extent a woman).

I put some thought into yesterdays suggestion that perhaps Crystal nudges slightly above Turn My Feet in the overall depth and quality stakes and I think, and this is obviously after due consideration... you may have something. Crystal has a truly unique sound... I absolutely adore the drums (obviously the beginning opening bars send shivers up my spinal column) and Hooky's bass is awesome. It sounds a bit like a 60's song in the alternative early sex movie kind of way (difficult ot explain that one). Its a bit sleazy.

So many years have passed and Regret, for me, is up there with the very best New Order work. As stated, I couldn't guarantee that whichever I chose today as the best, would still be my favourite tomorrow. The GREAT list is a list on its own and the GREATEST GREAT song is too difficult to select.

Very confusing.

At the moment, top 5 ranks as this.

1st best - Crystal 2nd - Regret 3rd - Turn My Wagon 4th - Temptation (the version available on this site and none-other) 5th - Leave My Shoes

Quite what you'll make of all that rambling is anyones guess.

CRystal would be near perfect but for few dodgy lyrics. Particuarly that honey/money line.

Regret is THAT bassline

Both top songs though

When I first heard Crystal it was on one of them shit mix things played late at night. Everything stripped back and just Barney's voice and a 4/4 bass drum were prevelant. I thought, well that sounds shit... but I'm not going to be judgemental because EXACTLY the same thing happened prior to Republic. Some spurious Regret version I heard did the same thing and I thought oh no what have New Order done?

So I didn't fall for it this time and when I first heard the song I loved it for all of the NO moments (taken off of the above mix).

The lyrics are sub-normal. They're genuinely so utterly shite they're good. Never minded them at all.

Gee, Huntsy, I never expected to persuade you on the relative rankings by acknowledging that Regret has far better lyrics. Very surprising. My favorite part of GR#1 comes I think at about the 4:00 mark and lasts about half a minute. This bit is given much more prominence in the Lee Coombs remix. But overall though it really does sound like nothing else I can think of.

As far as a top 5, I really can't force myself to do it. My top 5 would probably include about 15 titles.

Patty - my computer refuses to allow me access to posts over about 45 long... I can't now get to the bottom of our talks.. quite literally.

I'll post this just to say I can't see anything.

Perhaps you could start a new topic around this very subject and see what the gang have to say...

What about:

Huntsman and Pat's Crystal Topped Conflab

Content around the what song IS best... Crystal, Regret, Turn My Way? etc.

On the lyrics, it's not that I mind them, they just don't really contribute to the greatness of the effort. And we do of course know that the Barnman is capable of sublime lyrics.