Have you ever been caught wanking by your mother?

it's fuckin embarassin innit?

Mind you, not as embarrasin as a mate who had a factory job years ago that got caught throwing one of in the bogs by his mate. His 'mate' did NOT keep it quiet. Told the whole fuckin factory.

At least yer mum wouldnt do that. :\ohwell:

only if you get caught.

had a recent experience BA?

Never caught doing any such thing.

I did, however, find a copy of Playboy in my parents' bedroom once, and "borrowed it," but sadly, damaged the cover, so I couldn't return it (or so I reasoned). Would have been less obvious, I suppose, if I had just returned it damaged...

Mercifully, they never asked me about it.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: only if you get caught.

had a recent experience BA?

err, actually last one was only a few years ago. Rented my house out to go travellin, came back but couldnt go my to my house for a few weeks until the rent finished. So stayed with the P's.

yeh, got caught throwing a quick one. gutted.

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

Couple of close calls, but no.

Thankfully.

stop it, or you will go blind.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

a few months ago some guy, obviously not me, made the news ,not sure if it was local or the States,

didn't close the cutains one evening.

had neighbours who noticed, took exception, took the guy to court for exposure or something,

newspaper coverage, the whole bit,

justice came through and the courst sided with him because the neighbours shouldn't have been watching.

can you image?

Christopher Owens wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

are you wearing glasses yet?

JW wrote:

can you image?

Rather not, thanks!

Ronald Kirsch wrote:

Christopher Owens wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

are you wearing glasses yet?

No.

leaving the cutains open is a schoolboy error

thats how my brother caught me :\ohwell:

ehem, curtain at the back of the house I must add.

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do? Get over it and get on.

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Once, on vacation at the beach. I was in the bathroom, she walked in, excused herself, and we never spoke of it again.

Mind you, she's not a prude. She gave me a book about my "changing body" when I was a preteen, so I knew all about that...and it freaked me out for several years

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

*XFJ SFDLH FSDLGJUIOSJWE VUTYW34 568O34SDFJL&*%%#&*^{&$#$VJ DIUTYWU790}GDF 08WA*&(%*& v8op89as78vjhs 589 &*%^^* jklsyg

this would drive me to suicide. as would walking in on my parents doing....

excuse me while i go poke out my mind's eye.

Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Uh, I might re-think that whole Antarctica thing after watching this

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/

Let's see: shame of being caught wanking versus ever-so-slim chance that an alien creature will imitate you down to every detail...including wanking

I just got back from visiting my best friend and getting acquainted with her 4 month old baby, my "nephew." One day, while I was keeping an eye on him, he discovered his willy for the first time, and started tugging on it so hard I thought he'd pull it off. I mentioned it to her, and she told me not to let him hurt himself, like it was my fault. Anyway, shortly after that, we were both sitting with him, and he started tugging again, so she saw it for herself.

I'm guessing that our parents have seen a lot as we grew up, and probably are more forgiving of us than we realize.

I'd still book that ship to Antarctica, mind.

Taboo # 7 wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Uh, I might re-think that whole Antarctica thing after watching this

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/

Let's see: shame of being caught wanking versus ever-so-slim chance that an alien creature will imitate you down to every detail...including wanking

Jesus, what if the alien mimiced me, came back to my mother's house and started wanking where she could walk in? Would she know it was the alien, and not me?

Could I blame an alien?

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my (

hate it when

aye, but what can you do? Get over it and get on.

aces. binGo.

and try to maybe think and be more careful !

Taboo # 7 wrote: Once, on vacation at the beach. I was in the bathroom, she walked in, excused herself, and we never spoke of it again.

Wow. Wow. That's rough, Trev. Listen, if you ever need to talk about...I dunno. I dunno. Wow. There's only one thing i can say...

Edd Boland wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

*XFJ SFDLH FSDLGJUIOSJWE VUTYW34 568O34SDFJL&*%%#&*^{&$#$VJ DIUTYWU790}GDF 08WA*&(%*& v8op89as78vjhs 589 &*%^^* jklsyg

lol

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

Barney Army wrote:

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

The best one i ever heard was told by a mate of mine. I cant vouch for the authenticity but here goes:

His mate lived next door to a couple who had no kids, and doted on their cat. One night this guy got home from work and, as he pulled in the drive, heard a meow, crunch noise. He couldnt face telling the neighbours what had happened, so at 3 or 4 that morning, he went next door, jacked up the neighbours car, placed the deceased feline under a wheel and lowered the car. Next morning he was awaken by an almighty scream!

I was always too sneaky to get caught. Ninjalike, even.

Barney Army wrote:

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

Anyway, i dont think i know those 2 Nick? Wanna share them?

melly wrote: I was always too sneaky to get caught. Ninjalike, even.

well its much easier for girls. for us fellas, there is a lot more incrimidating evidence. the size of the thing, and the residue.

Ronald Kirsch wrote:

melly wrote: I was always too sneaky to get caught. Ninjalike, even.

well its much easier for girls. for us fellas, there is a lot more incrimidating evidence. the size of the thing, and the residue.

Our walls were thin. I had to perfect not being loud. :p (Well, it was hard to me. )

There's also that bonus of no one ever truly believing that girls do such things. And my eventual lock buying for my bedroom door.

Oddly enough....I have a motto, "never trust a girl who claims she doesn't wank"

:D

Steve Campbell wrote: Oddly enough....I have a motto, "never trust a girl who claims she doesn't wank"

:D

too right.

Edd Boland wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

Anyway, i dont think i know those 2 Nick? Wanna share them?

I would Edd, but they are long stories, and I cant be arsed typing.

use your imagination, it's probably right

PS think Lab's tongue...licky lick! SURPRISE!!!

No -- not by my mother :)

Go on... :)

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Go on... :)

Let's see -- I've been caught by a boyfriend (he was pleased) and a roommate (but she was probably too drunk to remember the next day)...on two different occasions.

Sometimes you can't wait, what can I say?

Bunch of George Costanzas up in this place!

I've never been caught by my family (that they can prove...ha!) But once got caught by a roommate (she was female, thank fuck, but never turned into a steamy Cinemax movie)...and me wifey has caught me before, but would not do me the justice of helping me finish :(

Emma Peel wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Go on... :)

Let's see -- I've been caught by a boyfriend

You just reminded me of an ex-girlfriend.

I didn't "catch" her, but...

Years after we had broken up, we were talking on the phone. I think she rang me up to try to get back together. Anyway, I told her that I was seeing somebody, and she let out this wail (mind, she had started seeing somebody almost immediately after we broke up, so it wasn't as if I had rushed into something new). Then she tried to get me to drop the new girlfriend, which I wasn't going to do, then she started moaning again. And again. And again... After about the second moan, I realized that she wasn't, ummm, just expressing her sorrow.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Emma Peel wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Go on... :)

Let's see -- I've been caught by a boyfriend

You just reminded me of an ex-girlfriend.

I didn't "catch" her, but...

Years after we had broken up, we were talking on the phone. I think she rang me up to try to get back together. Anyway, I told her that I was seeing somebody, and she let out this wail (mind, she had started seeing somebody almost immediately after we broke up, so it wasn't as if I had rushed into something new). Then she tried to get me to drop the new girlfriend, which I wasn't going to do, then she started moaning again. And again. And again... After about the second moan, I realized that she wasn't, ummm, just expressing her sorrow.

Wow, that's phone wanking! And you got blitzed by your ex-girlfriend. Oh well, at least she felt free enough to do it while talking to you. :) You hot stud.... :)

...

Nope, my mother hasn't caught me yet. But she seems to want to catch me. She believes that whenever I go online, I'm looking at porn. Mind you, it's mostly NOOL or Live journal, but she'll come upstairs to try to catch me in the act. Unless photos of an aging Bernard Sumner are porn, she has yet to find me wanking.

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Nope, my mother hasn't caught me yet. But she seems to want to catch me. an aging Bernard Sumner.. she has yet

Bernard he's terrible, terrible news. Steve Morris, Gillian, .. a man named Ian Curtis... don't even mention that other (genius)one. . they've collectively messed with many bodies and minds.

but really it's all about learning what you're comfortable with. and can only hope that she believes in your judgement 'cause she p r o b a b l y travelled through there too.

JW wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Nope, my mother hasn't caught me yet. But she seems to want to catch me. an aging Bernard Sumner.. she has yet

Bernard he's terrible, terrible news. Steve Morris, Gillian, .. a man named Ian Curtis... don't even mention that other (genius)one. . they've collectively messed with many bodies and minds.

but really it's all about learning what you're comfortable with. and can only hope that she believes in your judgement 'cause she p r o b a b l y travelled through there too.

Actually, no, she hasn't. She doesn't think anyone should look at porn because it's perverted. I don't think she's ever seen a porn mag, other than those my father has.

Emma Peel wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Go on... :)

Let's see -- I've been caught by a boyfriend (he was pleased)

Same ex-girlfriend I mentioned, when we were together, asked me several times to let her catch me while wearing my Tae Kwon Do uniform.

I always said no, because I didn't want to disrespect my uniform by turning it into a sexual prop. One day, I changed my mind. I prepared the scene, so to speak, and started talking with her from the bedroom while she was in the kitchen, knowing that at some point she would come into the bedroom to continue the conversation. When she did, she was genuinely surprised, and genuinely pleased.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Emma Peel wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Go on... :)

Let's see -- I've been caught by a boyfriend (he was pleased)

Same ex-girlfriend I mentioned, when we were together, asked me several times to let her catch me while wearing my Tae Kwon Do uniform.

I always said no, because I didn't want to disrespect my uniform by turning it into a sexual prop. One day, I changed my mind. I prepared the scene, so to speak, and started talking with her from the bedroom while she was in the kitchen, knowing that at some point she would come into the bedroom to continue the conversation. When she did, she was genuinely surprised, and genuinely pleased.

Sounds like one hell of a relationship there, Comrade! But I totally understand what you mean by not wanting to disrespect your uniform. I had the same idea with my French maid's uniform...oh wait, that's not the same thing.

French maid's uniform?

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote:

JW wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: t

Bernard he's terrible, (genius)one. . thr

Actually, no, she hasn't. She doesn't think anyone should look ...has.

no, no, no. B.E.B- am sorry.. numbskull here. really sorry. wasn't for second implying that anybody does or should do anything .. er illegal. just the whole notion of looking around and finding out who you are and where you want to go. parents had to grow up to be adults too.
there are some good songs about finding your own truths, sticking to your principles, and here top mark! standing up for friends and family. IMO.-again, no implications that your parents were doing anything untoward. just that whatever you may do. they've probably already done and so shouldn't judge you harshly. also try to read the thread title simply caught wkng- not anything else.

Never. However, she did catch me shafting my GF on holiday.

15 years (yes, that's long) ago, my girlfriend and I were caught having sex in her room by her sister.

The funny point is that said sister was my former girlfriend (!) but it only lasted two months and we never had sex together (because she was still a virgin and didn't feel ready). She probably had remorses, for she adopted a very provocative attitude towards me from this day. Unfortunately both sisters hated each other and we never experienced BLT , although my love affair went on several years.