Have you ever been caught wanking by your mother?

it's fuckin embarassin innit?

Mind you, not as embarrasin as a mate who had a factory job years ago that got caught throwing one of in the bogs by his mate. His 'mate' did NOT keep it quiet. Told the whole fuckin factory.

At least yer mum wouldnt do that. :\ohwell:

only if you get caught.

had a recent experience BA?

Never caught doing any such thing.

I did, however, find a copy of Playboy in my parents' bedroom once, and "borrowed it," but sadly, damaged the cover, so I couldn't return it (or so I reasoned). Would have been less obvious, I suppose, if I had just returned it damaged...

Mercifully, they never asked me about it.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: only if you get caught.

had a recent experience BA?

err, actually last one was only a few years ago. Rented my house out to go travellin, came back but couldnt go my to my house for a few weeks until the rent finished. So stayed with the P's.

yeh, got caught throwing a quick one. gutted.

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

Couple of close calls, but no.

Thankfully.

stop it, or you will go blind.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

a few months ago some guy, obviously not me, made the news ,not sure if it was local or the States,

didn't close the cutains one evening.

had neighbours who noticed, took exception, took the guy to court for exposure or something,

newspaper coverage, the whole bit,

justice came through and the courst sided with him because the neighbours shouldn't have been watching.

can you image?

Christopher Owens wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

are you wearing glasses yet?

JW wrote:

can you image?

Rather not, thanks!

Ronald Kirsch wrote:

Christopher Owens wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

Is that actually true?

are you wearing glasses yet?

No.

leaving the cutains open is a schoolboy error

thats how my brother caught me :\ohwell:

ehem, curtain at the back of the house I must add.

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do? Get over it and get on.

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Once, on vacation at the beach. I was in the bathroom, she walked in, excused herself, and we never spoke of it again.

Mind you, she's not a prude. She gave me a book about my "changing body" when I was a preteen, so I knew all about that...and it freaked me out for several years

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

*XFJ SFDLH FSDLGJUIOSJWE VUTYW34 568O34SDFJL&*%%#&*^{&$#$VJ DIUTYWU790}GDF 08WA*&(%*& v8op89as78vjhs 589 &*%^^* jklsyg

this would drive me to suicide. as would walking in on my parents doing....

excuse me while i go poke out my mind's eye.

Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Uh, I might re-think that whole Antarctica thing after watching this

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/

Let's see: shame of being caught wanking versus ever-so-slim chance that an alien creature will imitate you down to every detail...including wanking

I just got back from visiting my best friend and getting acquainted with her 4 month old baby, my "nephew." One day, while I was keeping an eye on him, he discovered his willy for the first time, and started tugging on it so hard I thought he'd pull it off. I mentioned it to her, and she told me not to let him hurt himself, like it was my fault. Anyway, shortly after that, we were both sitting with him, and he started tugging again, so she saw it for herself.

I'm guessing that our parents have seen a lot as we grew up, and probably are more forgiving of us than we realize.

I'd still book that ship to Antarctica, mind.

Taboo # 7 wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my mother didnt deserve to see that :(

hate it when sht like that happens. when you really step wrong with timing or say something - .bad taste in the mouth. no pun there.

aye, but what can you do?

That's when I'd finally take that decade-long trip to Antarctica. Or wherever.

Uh, I might re-think that whole Antarctica thing after watching this

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084787/

Let's see: shame of being caught wanking versus ever-so-slim chance that an alien creature will imitate you down to every detail...including wanking

Jesus, what if the alien mimiced me, came back to my mother's house and started wanking where she could walk in? Would she know it was the alien, and not me?

Could I blame an alien?

Barney Army wrote:

JW wrote:

Barney Army wrote:

my (

hate it when

aye, but what can you do? Get over it and get on.

aces. binGo.

and try to maybe think and be more careful !

Taboo # 7 wrote: Once, on vacation at the beach. I was in the bathroom, she walked in, excused herself, and we never spoke of it again.

Wow. Wow. That's rough, Trev. Listen, if you ever need to talk about...I dunno. I dunno. Wow. There's only one thing i can say...

Edd Boland wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: stop it, or you will go blind.

*XFJ SFDLH FSDLGJUIOSJWE VUTYW34 568O34SDFJL&*%%#&*^{&$#$VJ DIUTYWU790}GDF 08WA*&(%*& v8op89as78vjhs 589 &*%^^* jklsyg

lol

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

Barney Army wrote:

Edd Boland wrote: Just in case anyone tries to do the story my mate was having a wank with his headphones on and his eyes shut and when he finished there was a cup of tea there - heard it a million times and it still pops up (no pun intended) in the confessions page of lads mags now and again

yeh, that and the girl & the labrador on her surprise birthday party. I heard that one on Manchester & Torquay within a few months...hmmm

that and the kidney stealing one too.

Urban myths..you gotta love em

The best one i ever heard was told by a mate of mine. I cant vouch for the authenticity but here goes:

His mate lived next door to a couple who had no kids, and doted on their cat. One night this guy got home from work and, as he pulled in the drive, heard a meow, crunch noise. He couldnt face telling the neighbours what had happened, so at 3 or 4 that morning, he went next door, jacked up the neighbours car, placed the deceased feline under a wheel and lowered the car. Next morning he was awaken by an almighty scream!

I was always too sneaky to get caught. Ninjalike, even.