Morning People!!!
Gonna go make a Sausage/Bacon butty now, with HP Brown Sauce from the glass bottle 
Just got the new Chili Peppers album, so gonna be listening to that all day 
Dates
· UTC
SHED UP AND POST
Locked Archived1,176 replies · 10,069 views
This is an archived legacy thread. Replies are closed, but the discussion is preserved.
← Back to Behind Closed Doors
Showing posts 991–1020 of 1,177
↑ First post
Latest post ↓
Gonna go make a Sausage/Bacon butty now, with HP Brown Sauce from the glass bottle
Good choice Sir !
Morning ALL.LAst day at work for my mate and i should be outta there on FRIDAY unless the couple weeks extension is forthcoming.But it ain't REALLY gonna help.So back to the FUTURE.Hope you lot are well.
Time for Shed wrote: Shed Exhibition
Gardens with gates open wide, Where children once played on the slide, For entertainment they watch their parents get pissed Behind their eyes they say, 'The Sheds top of the list.'
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
The hanging baskets he hopes will win a prize, Wins a rosette to give to his wife. But the glory is drowned by cries for more, Pray to God, let him win at the Albert Hall.
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
You'll see Tesco selling sheds at their place, Meet the architects of sheds face to face. See mass shed building on a scale you've never seen, And all the clubcard points you'll ever need.
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
And I picked out a shed from a thousand or more, Still weeding the path that's been buried for years, All the shed heads from NOOL, their posts never tire, Can't replace Johnny's shed, Shed Aid and repair, Take my tool and I'll show you what was and will be.
Hurrah
ISOLATION
In Shed every day, every evening, He calls her aloud from the Shed, Tools Carefully stored for a reason, Painstaking devotion and love, Surrendered to lawn preservation, From others who care for their Sheds. A garden that touches perfection, Which grows just like anything else.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
Mother I tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can. I'm ashamed of the weedkiller I used on the lawn, I'm ashamed of it, oh yes I am.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
But if you could just see the beauty, This Shed I could never describe, This wheel barrow, a wayward distraction, This is my one lucky hose.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open
i dunno. i'll look at it in a sec. i've busy in the chat room where a certain somebody confused the crap out of me for a while when i should have been in my sick bed instead. i sussed it in the end.
is it time to close this thread now?
Time for Shed wrote: ISOLATION
In Shed every day, every evening, He calls her aloud from the Shed, Tools Carefully stored for a reason, Painstaking devotion and love, Surrendered to lawn preservation, From others who care for their Sheds. A garden that touches perfection, Which grows just like anything else.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
Mother I tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can. I'm ashamed of the weedkiller I used on the lawn, I'm ashamed of it, oh yes I am.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
But if you could just see the beauty, This Shed I could never describe, This wheel barrow, a wayward distraction, This is my one lucky hose.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open
i use weed killer. top song but.
Great stuff, Mike! I have a new song to debut today as well, may be able to get it on here before I have to properly start work...
SHEDi xxx
All The Hay
It doesn't take a geranium To tell me what I am Or a picture of my rockery And my watering can I don't remember What happened yesterday But I don't give a damn about it When I out making hay
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
It don't take no Percy Thrower To tell me what I am Pesticides and herbicides They'd posion all my yams But I don't give a damn about What those people say They pick your flowers and kick your shed While you're out making hay
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
SHEDi xxx
NOOLigan wrote:
Time for Shed wrote: ISOLATION
In Shed every day, every evening, He calls her aloud from the Shed, Tools Carefully stored for a reason, Painstaking devotion and love, Surrendered to lawn preservation, From others who care for their Sheds. A garden that touches perfection, Which grows just like anything else.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
Mother I tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can. I'm ashamed of the weedkiller I used on the lawn, I'm ashamed of it, oh yes I am.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
But if you could just see the beauty, This Shed I could never describe, This wheel barrow, a wayward distraction, This is my one lucky hose.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open
i use weed killer. top song but.
I'll re-record my version later with these lyrics & post it online somewhere
That's what we need - the Community Shed Album... Cambo - if I do some lyrics for ADL, any chance you could do a Shed Mix?
SHEDi xxx
So it WAS you! I knew it deep down that you had the hoe, felt it in my water i did! You thieving gypsy!
[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: He has my Pick as well??? I'm gonna report him to the Police.
Lancashire serious shed squad.
[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Where the hell have you been?
right here, suffering sleep deprivation until 7am this morning when i finally slept a bit. I have mailed you twice, one bounced the other claimed delivery. Sigh. My weekend was.....what was that bit of Ronspeak David Coulthard came out with yesterday....oh yeah... my weeknd was "sub optimal" to say the least.
- EVERYTHING'S GONE SHED by Sister Shed
Shed me, somebody shed me I wonder where I am I see my shed before me I'll hurt you when I can It seems like I've been here before
Confusion sprung up from devotion A shed that covers my eyes It sprung from this first estrangement No one have I ever despised Is this the way that you wanted to pLay Won't you show me, please show me the shed Is this the way that you wanted to pay Won't you show me, please show me the SHED
- Who's Shed? by Everything's Gone Shed
Hey shed what you're doing? It seems like it's all going wrong There's a shed in the sky passing over And it looks like it's going to be strong You've got eyes like an old wounded shed They cry tears to the losts in the shed
Hey shed Hey shed Hey shed What are your gonna do?
I looked for you I'll get you home Wherever you go Whatever you do I've got to find you I've got to find you (Whatever you do)
LEAVE ME A SHED by The Shedkeeper
On a thousand islands in the sea I see a thousand sheds just like mine A hundred sheds in the snow I watch them collapsing, falling in a row We live always in a shed It's going to be so quiet in the shed tonight A thousand sheds in the sea It's a shame
And a hundred years ago A sailor trod this shed I stood herein Take me away everyone When it hurts thou
From my head to my shed From the words in the book I see a shed that would bring me luck From my head to my shed To my teeth, through my nose You get these sheds wrong You get these sheds wrong Everytime You get these sheds wrong I just smile
But from my head to my shed From my knees to my eyes Everytime I watch the sheds For these last few days leave me a shed But for these last few days leave me a shed Leave me a shed
PARADISE by Sister Shed
If we left this shed, we could walk the earth together If you let me down, I will live in you forever I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you If we could find a shed, we could go through time together If we could hold our own, we'd devastate the shed forever There's no shed where we can't go There's no shed where I have been There's no shed I can show There's no shed in between Sheddy, I could have seen you there, Sheddy, I need you everywhere I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you Sheddy, I could have seen you there When I looked into your shedless eyes, I saw you everywhere There's no shed where you can hide There's no shed that I can't find There's no end to leave me clean There's no reason I have seen If you find me on my own, you could live your shed forever Shall we leave our shed alone, maybe we'll go now or never Sheddy, I could've seen you there When I looked into your shedless eyes, I saw you everywhere I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you
Forbidden SHED by SHEDimon (shed project)
There's not a post While you're in this kind of shed Too much tea to drink But not enough for most You weeded my blooms Now I've got to potter I wish I'd been around when you started this thread
Give me a spade I'd show you what I could do You're in the shed And I'm not in there with you You may be tasty But you're no bacon sandwich And you're the only gardener I ever knew
And it's too late to leave the shed We have bad Irrelevant threads
There is a Mick Who lives in a northern shed Holding a brush Painting fair Chorley red If he had the sense He'd leave there tomorrow He wouldn't even bother to go to Tesco
But it's too late to leave the shed We have been bad Irrelevant threads
Would you make me tea If you thought I was wrong You deserted me When it was too strong Would you make me tea Would you make me tea
Would you make me tea If you thought I was wrong You deserted me When it was too strong Would you make me tea
But it's too late to leave the shed We have been bad Irrelevant threads
The External by SHEDimon
Gardener moves on, the weeding is over, Praise to the glory of old lawns now mown. Talking aloud as they clean out their stables, Scattering horseshit washed down the drain, Stood by the shed at the foot of the garden, Watching them pass bootleg DVDs on the sly, Try to cry out by the heat of the bonfire, Eating bacon sandwiches with brown sauce inside.
Start a new thread, though this crap gets me told off, With shedheads my time is so very well spent, A new shed to keep, a silly community, Destined to be told to 'Go And Get Real'. Played by the shed at the foot of the garden, My thread stretches right out to the flowerbed, No words could explain, no smilies determine, Just watching the new DVD from the Shed.
OUR SILENT SHED by Time for Shed
A Moaner that never changes Remains a moaning Git He's always been the same No Posting, Just Moaning No Movement, No Shed Just Whinging
Rise and Fall of Sheds A Shed that shall remain We asked you what you'd seen You said you didn't Care
Post's posted on the Shed Thread May seem a waste of time They've always been just about Shed's No Order, or Community No Sane stuff, just Bollocks
The Shed that leads the way The Post's you cannot take You've caught us on a Shed Thread So why don't you PISS OFF
SHEDtation by SHEDimon
Heaven, a shed-load of dope Just like being inside, it's no joke And though it hurts me to leave the shack, You killed my weeds, but not my seeds, no going back.
Up, down, turn your head Please don't let me hit the shed Tonight I think I'll weed alone I'll find my hoe as I go home
Up, down, turn your head Please don't let me hit the shed Tonight I think I'll weed alone I'll find my rake as I go home
Each time I look, I know I'll never find, The key Johnny lost, last night, on the lash, From time to time, I find I should make sure, When I go out, must leave the door on the latch.
Up, down, turn your head, Please don't let me hit the shed Tonight I think I'll weed alone I'll find my spade as I go home
Up, down, turn your head, Please don't let me hit the shed Tonight I think I'll weed alone I'll find my trowel as I go home
Oh, you've got green grass Oh, you've got blue grass Oh, you've got grey grass Oh, you've got green grass Oh, you've got blue grass Oh, you've got grey grass
And I've never seen any shed quite like yours before No, I've never been in any shed quite like yours before
Gnomes from above hit the borders down below People in this shed without no place to go Gnomes from above hit the borders down below People in this shed we have no place to go Gnomes from above hit the flowerbeds down below People in this shed we have no place to go Gnomes from above hit the flowerbeds down below People in this shed we have no place to go
Oh, it's the best shed Oh, it's the best shed Oh, it's the best shed Oh, it's the best shed Oh, it's the best shed
Oh, I've never seen any shed quite like yours before Oh no, I've never been in any shed quite like yours before
THE PERFECT SHED by Time for Shed
I stood there beside myself Thinking hard about the weather Then came by a friend of mine Suggested we garden together Then I knew it from that morn This friend of mine would mow the lawn Pretending not to see his mower I turned my hosepipe setting to shower
I know you know We believe in a land of Shed's I know you know We believe in a land of Shed's
I have always thought alot About my Alottment plot Tonight I should have stayed in my Shed Dreaming of my Flower Bed He has always been a clot I thought he was a Flowerpot Pretending not to see his mower I flipped the switch to kill the power
I know you know We believe in a land of Shed's I know you know We believe in a land of Shed's
In a lonely Shed by Time for Shed
Caressing the Felt and Wood Shed that was special and Good The contents included Fork and Rake How I wish you were here with me now
The Greenhouse is also outside Matching paint Oh delight Bright like a Sun and looks neat How I wish you were here with me now
The Gardener looks round as he mows He finishes the lawn then he hoe's One day you will fade from my dreams How I wish we were here with you now
SHED OF CONSENT by Time for Shed
Won't you please let me know These tools lie inside i need them so And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you Just what I want to do I'm not the kind that needs to tell you Just what you want me to
I opened you this morning I thought that you might like to know The sun is shining it makes you a glow I counted the seeds to see how many i'd got And now that I actually know Their going in the pot
And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you Just what you want me to You're not the kind that needs to tell me About the plants and the weeds
Do you find this happens all the time Crucial hinge breaks at the wrong time And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you Just what I want to do I'm not the kind that needs to tell you
I've painted you [x5] I've painted you [x5] I've painted you [x5]
GUILTY POSTER by Sister Shed
Listen to me... I know what I'm posting But shed it don't come easy To admit that you were wrong It took you far too long. You counted on me to give you a reason, Why the Shed does shine in the season. Grey sky surrounded you.
I'm not some kind of foolish poster I couldn't take this from no other. You're not being cool with me, Cause I always know you'll read the thread. Yes, you'll read the thread.
'Cause I always know what it takes to make noolers smile.
You once said to me That I post shite only. And you know, I never believed you. You are blind, and I could never see. You'll never take my shed away from me.
And all of these sheds, And all this emotion, Can't explain my great devotion, or change what had to be.
I'm not some kind of foolish poster I couldn't take this from no other. You're not being cool with me, Cause I always know you'll read the thread. Yes, you'll read the thread.
'Cause I always know what it takes to make noolers smile.
All day Shed by Steve Campbell
this is a song about a garden shed which died at the hands of a stolen van Driver thrust the gas when he thought he should He thrust the gas when he oughtn't to. I'll never forget it's tools and it's shelves all covered in dust and old spiders webs all winter and summer all autumn and spring I'd just sit about in my all day shed
(bass shed bit)
And now I hope you know this crap. Is about a shed that now is flat. other garden buildings too abused and used by demented youths. So don't tell me about flattened kids Or all the figures on splattered invalids why can;t people just try and see that in my life what matters to me is my all day shed
Shed-o-play by No Ben No Shed
To the centre of the garden where all weeds grow, waiting for you, To the depths of the ground where all seeds sprout, watered by you, I was mowing through the field with a tractor, smoking a few, In a greenhouse full of windows like a shack I found a hoe.
In the shed-o-play, lopping off dead branches from your rose-bush, As the oxeye daisy all grouped in four lines, wilting on the floor, And with cold steel rake, shovel and hoe, made a move to collect, All the cut grass that your electric lawn mower left.
I smoked everything, everything I sowed and grew, Now I am left with all my fag ends, To the centre of the garden where all weeds grow, waiting for you, To the centre of the garden where all weeds grow, waiting for you.
Murder by Duroc
SHEDS, SHEDS, SHEDS, I LOVE THEM! My grass is growing, I can see it My grass is growing, there is no question about it
Blue Monday by Time for Shed
What do you use to treat that wood like you do? When you've shown your hands to me And told me how you got the scar I guess I was mistaken I thought I was going to paint Tell me, what shall I do Tell me now, what shall I do
Those who brought the Shed to me Lived through their vocations From the panels until completion They'll build it from the floor And I still find it so hard The Timber they use today But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me It’s in the price I will pay
I see a shed in the Garden Iv’e put it on display But if it wasn't for my good fortune I'd have to wait another day And I thought I’d get the bacon And I thought I heard you speak Tell me how do you want it Tell me now, how do you want it
Now I stand here painting... I thought I told you to leave me While I walked down to the decking Tell me how does it feel When the Shed takes hold
Turn by Time for Shed
It's a hard weed to come out You've got me on my knees The rain is tumbling down Washing down the leaves
Seasons pass through months and years I can't forget that you were here I feel your presence everywhere In the shed over there
Feed my plants for me It's time for me to go Across the hills and over the sea I want a new jewson Hoe
It's a wild world out there And nobody trims it back In cold frost we don't care And we don't want the shed to crack
I'm sitting in the shed tonight My weeding eyes are open wide What do you want me to say I’ve made the green fly go away
The shed is high the greenhouse long Show me what I should have done What do you want me to do Store your garden tools for you
Feed my plants for me It's time for me to go Across the hills and over the sea I want a new jewson Hoe
Feed my plants for me It's time for me to go Across the hills and over the sea When I come back the lawn will need a mow
Shedstream by Sister Shed
Can you wait My tool will be arriving shortly Right there at the shed I pray that you'll be waiting right there for me
This tool could be what We've all been searching for
B-C-D (BCD) You are such fun for me (You are such fun for me) You are my shedstream lover You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
We're so daft I’m watching all the cnuts moan there about us We should try It's been so long since we made them cry
Long Live Shed I just can't get enough of you I need that garden tool It's gonna make you feel so blue
B-C-D (BCD) You are such fun for me (You are such fun for me) You are my shedstream lover You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
LEAVE US ALONE by Time for Shed
On a thousand threads on the net I see a thousand posters that i've met A hundred sheds in a row I watch them standing, shining with a glow We live always in the shed It's going to be so quiet out there tonight A thousand posts on one thread It's a shame
And a hundred years ago A gardener trod this ground I stood upon Take me away everyone When it hurts thou
From my shed to my hoes From the trees in the book I see a vision that would bring me luck From my shed to my hoes To my rake, through my hose You get these posts wrong You get these posts wrong Everytime You get these posts wrong I just smile
But from my shed to my hoes From my spade to my Shedstruck Everytime I watch the sky For this solitary thread, leave us alone But for this sloitary thread, leave me alone Leave us alone Leave us alone
ULTRAVIOLENCE by Time for Shed
Who saw those great posts Who saw those great posts On Those threads gone by Deep within posted by the shed kin All those threads gone by In the heat of the night All those threads gone by
Who felt those cold digs Who felt those cold digs Touch my post Deep within Ban my thread Get it locked Before were blocked All those threads ago All those threads ago All those threads ago
Everybody makes shed posts Everybody makes shed posts Even me Just be free This is a place Where in the end It happens in Our world within BCD
Time to go Time to go ... and post
Shedenial by No Ben No Shed
Here I am in a shack full of doors but no exits In a light that is green like the lawn through my windows All of this is a gift, such a colorful cabana Inside my shed
It's just something I know, the mower is there It starts and it stops and it frightens me It's just something I know, the mower is there It starts and it stops and it frightens me
This varnish on the walls can't confront the decay The rain falls on the roof, it seeps through, it's so wet Believe me, this dampness is no good for the seeds Inside my shed
It's an old barbecue, some of it is corroded I tried to light it, I tried so hard Worms live so well in the walls of my old shed Inside my shack, inside my shack
Ants live so well on the ground Inside my shed, inside my shack Inside my shed, inside my shack
The Perfect Shed by nooligan
I stood there beside myself Thinking hard about the weather They came by a friend of mine Suggested we go to the shed together Then I knew it from the start This friend of mine would fall apart Pretending not to see his beer I said "Let's go to the shed and have some fun"
I know you know We believe in a land of shed I know you know We believe in a shed of love
I have always thought about Staying in and going out Tonight I should have stayed at home Playing in my shed alone He has always been so strange I'd often thought he was deranged Pretending not to see his nail gun I said "Let's go out and have some fun"
I know you know We believe in a land of shed I know you know We believe in a shed of love
When you are alone at night You search yourself for all the things that you believe are right If you give it all away You throw away your only chance to be in your shed today Then a fight breaks out on your house You lose another broken hammer in a land of nails My friend he was such a fool Now I know the perfect shed is the shed full of tools
No title by SHEDimon
Some days you rake your leaves away These times I turn my grass to hay A rose I once deadheaded pricked me Some mulch and fertiliser 'round the tree Only when beans aren't out of season They're planted beyond your fence, right along
Small boy weeds, watering in a great shed He paints creosote on the fence above him White pansies, black pines surround me Repotted, so close to the tree This is the reason that I dig here To be so near to such a small gnome
Shed required, shed required
What Do You Want For Tea? By Shedimon (shed project)
There is one tool, of which I would buy four. It is a new spade, I'll store it in my shed. When it is cooler, I'll go outside and weed. But now I can't garden:
Cos' it is too hot for me, It's not how it used to be. You've taken my rain away, Ruining every seed.
She eh eh eh eh eh ed x4
Cos' it is too hot for me, It's not how it used to be. You've taken my rain away, Ruining every seed.
Give me some tea, this thirst I could die from. They are all wilting, the plants that I once grew. But what does it matter, if all my plants are dead. It suddenly hit me:
What do I want for tea? It's not how it used to be. You've taken my plants away, But I have still got my shed!
She eh eh eh eh eh ed x4
Gardening point by No Ben No Shed
Grow up rose-bush, don't you suffer At the hands of such bad gardener He works like a fooking moron Listen can you hear him weeding? Tears around and tears down his mower He seeds much to weed tomorrow
My life ain't no holiday I've been in the shed, will not return I've seen a yardman's rake and hoe I've seen all the tools of a woman too
Feel your spade dig under your feet It can excavate deep within Handle's short but scoop is strong It is at Tesco to be found And if you try you'll like it too A flowerbed carefully hoed
My life ain't no holiday I've been in the shed, will not return I've seen a yardman's rake and hoe I've seen all the tools of a woman too
And they traced out a pathway With gravel and sand and clay To the allotment leading Where radishes're growing
New Shed Fades by Time for Shed
Change of post, a change of style A change of thread, with no regrets A chance to watch admire the distance Still occupied - though you forget Different posters, different threads Over each mistakes were made I took the blame Pointless threads, so plain to see A loaded shed won't set you free So you say
We'll share a drink and step outside An angry voice and one who cried We'll give you everything and more The strain's too much, can't take much more Oh I've posted on community Posted on shed Can't seem to feel it anymore It was me - posting for me Hoping for Mick to post Me - see me in the shed - Hoping for more sheds
SHED In Motion by SHEDimon
Express yourself Create the post You know you can win Don't give up the ghost
Beat the mod(erator) Take him on You never give up Here's how it's done
Express yourself Here in the Shed Express yourself Here in the Shed Express yourself It's never dead When somethings good It's always read
Loves got the shed in motion And I know what we can do Loves got the shed in motion And I can't believe its true
Now is the time Let everyone see You never give up Thats how it should be Don't get caught Avoid all flaws Express yourself Behind Shed Doors
Express yourself Here in the Shed Express yourself Here in the Shed Express yourself It's never dead When somethings good It's always read
Loves got the shed in motion And I know what we can do Loves got the shed in motion And I can't believe its true
Loves got the shed in motion And I know what we can do Loves got the shed in motion And I can't believe its true
You've got to type and spell But do it the most You can be slow or fast But you must get to the post They'll always hit you and hurt you Defend and attack Theres only one way to beat them Get in the Shack Catch me if you can Cos' I'm the Shedhead man And what you're looking at Is the master plan There's a shedNOOLigan This ain't a football ditty Three onions in the ground I know it won't go shitty
We're playing for Shedland {Shed-er-land} We're playing the track We're singing for Shedland {Shed-er-land} Arrivederci it's to the Shack
SHED WILL LOOK THE PART AGAIN by Time for Shed
When the Woodworm bite hard and the source i don't know And the shed makes us cry but we'll repair don't yer know And we're changing our posts, taking different threads
Then Shed, Shed will look the part again (4)
Why is the greenhouse so cold Built on the the wrong side? Is my buliding that flawed, our tomatos won't grow? Yet there's still this woodseal That we've kept for our shed
Shed, Shed will look the part again (4)
Put your face to the Shed and peep And see my B&Q Hose? The Shed faces south so the sun takes a hold Is it some beautiful wood For the roof to restore
When Shed, Shed will look the part again !
FACE UP by Time for Shed
Ever since I've seen your Shed This life of mine has moved ahead I was young and you were old But the Shed will keep us from cold At the start you had a cart But in the end a Shed you did lend Can you see your own dark space? Needs an outside light in this place
Oh, how I cannot use the outside loo I said, oh, how I cannot use the outside loo
As we get old, we lose our place Reflecting back the shed of grace I feel i'll mow, I feel i fumble Sometimes in life we shift the tumble (weed) Don't let anybody tell you that you post shite Cause you know they will Don't let anybody tell you what you should post Cause it's not that way and...
Oh, how I cannot stand Rocket Mick's brew I said, oh, how I cannot stand Rocket Mick's brew We were young and we were pure And the shed had an open door I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
You were me and I was you This shed of ours it was brand new You took me a little further... I heard it all before, I've heard it all before I can't hear it anymore Your moans were long, in the posts from you Guess I will post something new
Oh, how I cannot believe the perfect view I said, oh, how I cannot believe the perfect view We were young and we were pure And the shed had an open door I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought... Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of dew I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of dew We were young and we loved manure..
Shed of the Salvation by SHEDimon
You can post, or you can lurk You don't have to be a jerk I went out to mow the grass And came back to find a farce My brother said that he was dead I saw his weeds and closed my shed Can you see we can't be bores We're wasting our time Behind Closed Doors
'Cause it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding converastion Yes, it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding conversation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation Is fighting deprivation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation It's causing post inflation
From my shed I travelled over I drove on my stolen mower When it broke down, I kissed the grass 'Cause I don't kiss nobody's arse I don't find that I'm a boaster The portrait of a super-poster If that's the case, then who could tell If those posts could be undone?
'Cause it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding converastion Yes, it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding conversation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation Is fighting deprivation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation It's causing post inflation
Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation Shed of salvation
Even now, I'm in the shed Behind a wall that's made of threads I think about what we have said And all the crap that could be read I know it all could be repaid If only I could buy a spade Now we go to water seeds The shame of a Shed Thread will not receed
'Cause it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding converastion Yes, it's the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation That's holding conversation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation Is fighting deprivation Oh, the shed of the salvation, shed of the salvation It's causing post inflation
Dracula's Shed by Shedimon
What’s the matter here Something ain’t growing Tell me it’s not true All the seeds I've been sowing
There was a time I’d dig around the bed Get down on my knees outside the shed But you came in the night and took my seeds To Dracula’s Shed and left me weeds
Now I’ve gotta tell you that you’ve gotta hoe I want you to stay but you’re gonna go Don’t leave me alone you'll tear all my hoses You’re in control (don't kill my roses)
So goodbye mud You were not clean You came today But now you leave I can’t complain I shouldn't cry You once were wet But now ou're dry
You can’t keep on pruning How far do you think you’d get? You've got the mower if you want it But the grass is wet
I dig hard just to keep you by my side Every day and almost every night In the end you took away my flowers Left me alone (for hours and hours)
So goodbye mud You were not clean You came today But now you leave I can’t complain I shouldn't cry You once were wet But now ou're dry
So goodbye mud You were not clean You came today But now you leave I can’t complain I shouldn't cry You once were wet But now ou're dry
Rock The Shed by Shedimon
I've been accused of gardening From Timbuctu to old Berlin I need some compost for my tree I need to stop and have some tea I've been wide-eyed but couldn't sing I stand accused of watering
I believe in conifers I believe in evergreens I believe this shed of ours is giving me adrenaline When I hear a sapling sigh When I see an old shrub die That's just the way it is
Rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed Rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed
Yeah that's the way it is
I tied each sweetpea to a cane I put my seedlings in a coldframe The pines were there all in a row By the washing line, they all grow My trowel laid on my kneeling mat I swear to you I saw a bat I've seen one hundred thousand sheds And you're the one who moderated my threads These shed threads
I believe in conifers I believe in evergreens I believe this shed of ours is just a den of vice and sins And even in the darkest shack We could post th daftest crap And we could get it back
Get it back, get it back, get it back, get it back Get it back, get it back, get it back, get it back
I believe in conifers I believe in evergreens I believe this shed of ours is giving me adrenaline Ten thousand years ago Crawling on the floor Well get up Ed It's time to rock the shed
Rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed Rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed, rock the shed
It's time to shed up
Shed (The Price Of Mud) by Shedimon
I turn sideways in my bed keep my thoughts from other's sheds It's a jungle, I'm a giraffe Hear me whinge, but never laugh
So I'm keeping out the shed only posting on-topic threads But it's too late to go back ther's such passion for the shack
That's the price of mud (that's the price of mud) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could throw it now (that's the price of mud) how long would it last (that's the price of mud)
And if this post's irrelevant I have wasted the time spent I turn sideways to the door and won't post any more
That's the price of mud (that's the price of mud) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could throw it now (that's the price of mud) how long would it last (that's the price of mud)
That's the price of mud (that's the price of mud) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could throw it now (that's the price of mud) how long would it last (that's the price of mud)
Getting A Shed With It by Shedimon (shed project)
I've been forking in the rain Just to get wet on purpose I've been digging by myself Not to forget just to feel worse I've been getting a shed with it before my wife (Getting a shed)
However I look it's clear to see That I love shed more than you love me However I look it's clear to see I love you shed than you love me
I hate that mower It makes me feel so worthless I'm an original strimmer But when I'm with shed I couldn't care less I've been getting a shed with it before my wife Getting a shed with it before my wife (Getting a shed)
However I look it's clear to see That I love shed more than you love me However I look it's clear to see I love shed more than you love me I love shed more than you love me More than you love me
You thought I gave up raking the leaves A long long time before I guess I like it but I can't tell you I wish you never saw That it's been true all my life Yes it's been true all my life
I've been potting by myself Just to suggest that I'm selfish (Getting reborn) I've been trying to compost That more is less and I'm lost (I should now mow the lawn)
However I look it's clear to see I love shed more than you love me However I look it's clear to see I love shed more than you love me I love shed more than you love me I love shed more than you love me
Getting a shed with it...
SPECIAL by The Shedkeeper
It isn't what it used to be I wake up every night In the shed Waiting for the posts to come Every post of mine Is a waste of time Only tomorrow knows Why do we post when we can borrow This time we knew No shite or sheds There's nothing left
It was always bollocks It was like watering the garden I'm intoxicated Every time I see you post I try to post sense But nothing is the same
It wasn't that I didn't try It's not the kind of thing, that you post Written in my profile Life is but a dream Covered by the shed Stop saying that you're banning shite Look at your life before you start on mine I'm not the kind of poster that you need I'm sick of trying I mean that it's over
It was always bollocks It was like posts down the drain I'm intoxicated Every time I see your post I try to remember But no post is the same It was always bollocks it was like posts down the drain
Patiently you moan at me You're so blind I thought it couldn't be Then changed my post PoSting in the endless sea Post all that shite The traces of your memory Don't belong with mine
SPOOKY by Christopher Owens
Once in a while I need a shed So why won't you let me recover It's just a time to give me head But sometimes we divide each other
Maybe we could find a time Eliminate what's on your mind We'd do everything we could in bed Our presence in the neighbourhood and my mother's shed
We could break every plank Anytime we wanted to crank Don't be afraid to live in here Lets defend the things in the mirror.
I want to be up in the tree I could be called Lucree Tell me I'm wrong in doing the hop Set me free and I'll hop to the shop
Maybe we could find a time To elevate what's on your mind Recreate for me and the dog You look just like a hog.
We could break every plank Anytime we wanted to crank Don't be afraid to live in here Lets defend the things in the mirror.
Elevate what's on your shelf Eliminate what's in your bin.
VIETSHED by Christopher Owens
Hey Vietshed Vietshed Vietshed
Vietshed Vietcred Vietbed Vietlead. Yesterday I got a shelf from my gardener fighting in Vietsaid.
and this is what he had to say: 'tell all my friends that I'll be fixing them soon
my time 'll be up some time in june. Don't forget' he said 'to tell my sweet Jenna
her golden nipples as sweet as milk'. And it came from: Vietshed Vietshed Vietshed
Vietshed Vietcred Vietbed Vietlead!
It was just the next day his snake got a Telegram
it was addressed from Factory. Now mistress Brown she lives in the U.S.A and this is what she wrote and said: 'Don't be alarmed' she told me the telegram said
'but mistress Brown your son is dead !' and it came from: Vietshed Vietshed Vietshed
Vietshed Vietcred Vietbed Vietlead!
Somebody please stop that war now ! Vietshed Vietshed Vietshed
Vietshed Vietcred Vietbed Vietlead!
The harder they come The harder they fall One and all.
Spud Vigilantes by Shedimon
Oh I've just dug The garden in the sun Some tiling to be done Up on the roof With our gnomes oh so brave your flower beds we will save With our trowels and our spades And some help from Bob
I want to use my BBQ My wife and child waiting for food I've got to get flame Or I'll be to blame, you see
You just can't believe The way I raked my leaves When I finally had some tea And I was nearly done Oh I went to the shed my seedlings were all dead For my plum tree I would die But I will see it bloom
I want to use my BBQ My wife and child waiting for food I've got to get sparks Or the wife'll kick my arse, you see
When I walked up the path My wife she had to laugh And with tears her eyes were sore I did not know why Then I looked into her fist And I realised she was pissed She said that I was a f@*#ing c?&t And she wanted me dead
I want to use my BBQ My wife and child waiting for food I've got to get heat Or the wife she will beat, beat me
Failures (Of The Modern Shed) by Shedimon
Don't speak of creak-free doors, A failure of the Modern Shed, In the shed with a crate of Coors, This lot's gonna hurt my head. Love in a Viking Shed, Break the mower of your father's lawn, Drawn to an funny gnome, He was thought of as the only one, He was thought of as the only one.
He no longer denies, All the failures of the Modern Shed No, no, no, can't get inside, Sees the failures of the Modern Shed. Weatherboards and cups of tea, Tell the story of our garden tree. New shed is a nice touch, Fence and creosote make it all too much. With a spade injury, Broke the metatarsal of a lesser man, Some other rake can see, In the Shed it was a bit of fun, In the Shed it was a bit of fun.
He no longer denies, All the failures of the Modern Shed. No, no, no, can't get inside, Sees the failures of the Modern Shed Now that it's pesticides, In his time he was an organic man, Taken from Scarecrow's side, Kept in cold-frames just to prove who's wrong. He no longer denies, All the failures of the Modern Shed. No, no, no, can't get inside, Sees the failures of the Modern Shed, All the failures of the Modern Shed.
SHED 86 by Time for Shed
I see danger In the Garden, in the Shed Shed bows and sways Broken Glass in the Fower Bed I heard you hammering Yes, I heard you hammering I heard you hammering Yes, I heard you hammering
I hear creaking I hear creaking in the Shed From a wooden beam Mind your head and wear a hat Heard you nailing Yes, I heard you nailing Heard you nailing Yes, I heard you nailing
When it opens You will have to mind the vine Slide the first bolt When I let you see inside Heard you drilling Yes, I heard you drilling Heard you drilling Yes, I heard you drilling
In the future When you want me help repair I won't be there unless you BBQ If you call out in the yard Heard you sawing Yes, I heard you sawing Heard you sawing Oh yes I heard you, heard you, heard you, heard you sawing
Can you see the repairs we made With the help of Shed aid Can you see the repairs we made With the help of Shed aid Can you see the repairs we made With the help of Shed aid Can you hear me drilling too Can you hear me sawing too Can you hear me nailing too Can you head me hammering
Shafty by Sister Shed
Some noolers get up at the break of day Gotta play the game before it gets too late Gettin onto NOOL and posting lots of crap It’s the only way to be
But that's what you do to raise your daily count And it’s a kinda game that we can’t live without And it is what we wanna do And it is what we wanna play
Just give me one more game (one more game) Give me another clue (just another clue) I’m at the second place (second place) This time I'll beat the rest (This time I'll beat the rest)
I'll log in one more time (one more time) I want you lot to know (want you lot to know) I’ll never leave the shed (leave the shed) Don’t ever let me go
You've gotta play the game like other shedheads do Playing with your tool and acting like a fool There's us inside and the world’s out there With that shed game we just don't care
We're gonna guess away cause we play to win All of us but not Rocket Mick We think this thread is a beautiful place It puts the smile on everyone’s face And this is where I wanna be And this is what I wanna do
Just give me one more game (one more game) Give me another clue (just another clue) I’m at the second place (second place) This time I'll beat the rest (This time I'll beat the rest)
I'll log in one more time (one more time) I want you lot to know (want you lot to know) I’ll never leave the shed (leave the shed) Don’t ever let me go
SHED ATTACK by Sister Shed
Nothing on this site Can beat the shed thread that we have When we woke up this morning It put the shed game in our lives It took us with a great surprise It was like no other topic.
I do belong to this thread, Cause I wanna be a shed It can't be locked by noone, Diggy Mike is not afraid
I can see the sense in our worship All I need is the shed thread to gossip
Don't look at our post counts It's not for me or any cnut To count the posts on this site Is it really such a sin? Cause I don't care and won't give in I can't live without the shed thread
I do belong to this thread, Cause I wanna be a shed It can't be locked by noone, Diggy Mike is not afraid
I can see the sense in our worship All I need is the shed thread to gossip And for it I'd do what I can, I'll never change the way that I am.
24 Sheds by Time for Shed
So this is Pestilence, Woodworm ridden Shed. What once was pristine, is now long dead. A cloud hangs over me, follows every broom, Deep in the memory, of what once was storeroom.
Oh how I realised how I wanted a cure, Put into perspective, tried to use manure, Just for one moment, thought I'd fixed my shed. Shed unfolded, I watched it fall away.
Death Watch Beetle, beyond all reach, Solitary demands for all I'd like to keep ( in the shed ) Let's take tools out, see what we can find, A valueless collection of hoes and old pliers
I never realised the lengths I'd have to go, Focus Do it All and B and Q. Just for one moment, I heard something fall, Looked at my piece of land, there's nothing there at all.
Now that I've realised how it's all gone wrong, Gotta find a new Shed, this timber ain't so strong Deep in the heart of where my my shed now lay, Gotta find my mower, before my grass get's long.
CEREMONY by Time for Shed
This is why weeds unerve me, You find them all, a different story, Notice whom for blades are turning, Turn again and turn towards those weeds, All I ask's the strength to hold the shears, Then again the same old chopping, Weeds will die, oh so quickly, De weed first and lean against this shed.
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown, Heaven knows, i got to weed this garden Watching Maya, her posts on the thread The times she drank, Too pissed to post this time.
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown, Heaven knows, it's got to be this time, Avenues all lined with trees, Feed the lawn and then you start mowing, Mowing forever, forever, Mowing atfer its grown, forever, watching it grow, forever.
DECADES by Time for Shed
Here are the old Sheds, the weight on Shelves, Here are the old sheds, well where have they been? We knocked on the doors of the storage chamber, Pushed to the limit, we dragged ourselves in, Watched from the garden as the grass was regrowing, We saw our sheds now as we never had seen. Portrayal of the seasons and regeneration, The sunlight we enjoyed, whilst out of our tree
It's all so green It's all so green It's all so green it's all so green
Nearly inside, now our heart's joy forever, Can't replace thrill, shed rebuilt after collapse, Each weekend showed up the door for our wanderings, Open then shut, then slammed in our face.
It's all so green It's all so green It's all so green it's all so green
Loony In A Shed by Shedimon
Pssst I may be wrong but she's pissed There's something wrong you should've said That Maya's in the Shed She could be the lover of Jack Forever on her own in the Shack Let's start a new thread
Some people like to out-post her While others may just want to roast her While I do the best that I can Keeping my cock in my pants
And if you feel The whole Shed rocking Then it's just M She's on the vodka (Banging round in the dark) But stop acting like a tart Every thread she posts is the one That's gonna undo what she's done It could take all day
Some people try to upset her While others may want to forget her But she does the best that she's able Trying her best to seem stable
Some people like to abuse her While others may quite like to lose her But she does it better than most Keeping it real with her posts
Mowed In Line by Time for Shed
All dressed in overalls so fine, They drank and killed weeds to pass the time, Reading up on gardening, to learn how to grow limes, With measured steps, they mowed in line.
They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line.
They carried pictures of their sheds, And dreamed up new posts for the threads, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line.
Lot's of a tools very clean, Stored in the shed, painted green, A need to replace the floor, Hypnotic trance, as he used the saw, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line,
They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line, They mowed in line,
Mowed in line, Mowed in line.
New Lawn Fades by Time for Shed
A change of turf, a change of style. A change of grass, with no weeds, A chance to watch, admire the new lawn, Still occupied, though you forget. Different colours, different shades, Created with the mower you made. It's not the same Patterns so plain to see, stop the mower drink your tea. Turf you lay.
We'll share a barbie and step inside, A burnt burger and one was fried, 'We'll give you Stella and more, The wine's too much, can't take much more.' Oh, I've drove on tarmac, car on tyre, Can't stand that surface anymore. It was me, waiting for me, Hoping for a new lawn, Me, seeing turf and grass seed, hoping for some green grass.
SHED SOULS by Time for Shed
Someone take these tools away, I'll fix the Shed another day, A duel of Frailties, Working hard till my hand bleeds.
Shed keeps calling me, It keeps calling me, Keeps on calling me, It's time for tea.
Neighbours over the fence peep their head, And mocking voices disrespect my Shed. Imperialistic shed of prayer, Neighbours wife was shagged in there.
Shed keeps calling me, It keeps calling me, Keeps on calling me, It's time for tea.
The Shed of Music by Time for Shed
See my shed reflection, Oil the hinge connections I can see door opening easier, So sad is this hinge action, Reverse the situation, I can't see it closing better.
I'll walk you through the greenhouse, Show you all the tomatos, I can't see see them growing higher, Systematically eaten by geen fly, Emotionally not on a high, I can't see them getting better.
Perverse and unrealistic, Tie the plants to a stick, I can't see it getting better, Hollow now, a windows out, All I need to break out, I can't see life getting higher, Shed songs, makes you feel higher, Love, of shed, makes you feel higher, Higher, higher, higher, higher, Higher, higher, higher, higher, Love of shed, makes you feel higher.
No title by ghost rider
I turn sideways to my shed keep it locked from everyone It's a escape, I'm a king Hear me decorate, but never speak
So I'm stepping out of my flat because leaving is sublime And it may all be too late but I've got no more rent for this place
That's the price of shelves (that's the price of a shelves) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could build a new one now (that's the price of shelves) how long would it last (that's the price of shelves)
And when this flat is on fire these flames can't burn any higher I turn sideways to the shed and in a moment I am gone
That's the price of shelves (that's the price of a shelves) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could buy a new one now (that's the price of shelves) how long would it last (that's the price of shelves)
That's the price of shelves (that's the price of a shelves) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could buy a new one now (that's the price of shelves) how long would it last (that's the price of shelves)
Shed Exhibition by Time for Shed
Gardens with gates open wide, Where children once played on the slide, For entertainment they watch their parents get pissed Behind their eyes they say, 'The Sheds top of the list.'
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
The hanging baskets he hopes will win a prize, Wins a rosette to give to his wife. But the glory is drowned by cries for more, Pray to God, let him win at the Albert Hall.
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
You'll see Tesco selling sheds at their place, Meet the architects of sheds face to face. See mass shed building on a scale you've never seen, And all the clubcard points you'll ever need.
This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside. This is the shed, step inside.
And I picked out a shed from a thousand or more, Still weeding the path that's been buried for years, All the shed heads from NOOL, their posts never tire, Can't replace Johnny's shed, Shed Aid and repair, Take my tool and I'll show you what was and will be.
ISOLATION by Time for Shed
In Shed every day, every evening, He calls her aloud from the Shed, Tools Carefully stored for a reason, Painstaking devotion and love, Surrendered to lawn preservation, From others who care for their Sheds. A garden that touches perfection, Which grows just like anything else.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
Mother I tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can. I'm ashamed of the weedkiller I used on the lawn, I'm ashamed of it, oh yes I am.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open.
But if you could just see the beauty, This Shed I could never describe, This wheel barrow, a wayward distraction, This is my one lucky hose.
I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open, I Shed open
All The Hay by Shedimon
It doesn't take a geranium To tell me what I am Or a picture of my rockery And my watering can I don't remember What happened yesterday But I don't give a damn about it When I out making hay
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
It don't take no Percy Thrower To tell me what I am Pesticides and herbicides They'd posion all my yams But I don't give a damn about What those people say They pick your flowers and kick your shed While you're out making hay
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and take them home To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on Tesco's own It takes shears to trim the herbs Put in the cart and go inside To find the thyme you grew yourself And not depend on herbs that are freeze-dried
[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: You have WAY too much time on your hands!!
(Happy Belated Birthday anyway cock)
I was just gonna say that it took me almost an hour and a half to copy/paste them all (and I'm in work now) and that one simple "Cheers, Sis" would be just fine but noone gives a flying fuck apparently 
Ta, Jemmy :kiss: 
:)
SISTER SHED wrote:
[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: You have WAY too much time on your hands!!
(Happy Belated Birthday anyway cock)
I was just gonna say that it took me almost an hour and a half to copy/paste them all (and I'm in work now) and that one simple "Cheers, Sis" would be just fine but noone gives a flying fuck apparently
Ta, Jemmy :kiss:
OMG...you're a DJ....all you have done is collect other people's hard work and now you want fucking CREDIT. screw you ya nutter.
I kid, cheers sis, a better job than the digital pixie managed :D
I am truly stunned by the amount of creative energy devoted to gibbering insanity in here, it's brilliant, but at the same time I wonder if it's because it;s easier to express one's creative urges in a non serious way because a poor reception would not hurt as badly as it would were you to pour yer heart out into a love poem or something. Maybe it's why i far prefer short circuiting effects loops and making big rumbly noises to actually doing coherent songs.
