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Is there anything good on this year, or is it all soaps and dodgy sitcom specials (please tell me the Green Green Grass hasn't got another special - please!)
Saw the Extras trailer - George Michael eating a kebab and toking on a joint. That, at least, should be a good 'un.
Boatraceface wrote:
El Jarvo wrote: George Michael
Is that the faggot from Wham?
No.
He's from Wham!
Not from Wham?
one of these Chrimbo's i will start buying the Radio Times again. like when i was a kid.
but until that happens, i'll just flick, and see what's on.
Dr No, Wizard of Oz?? 
god almighty. ~Not that shit Doctor Who.
with that fella playing him with the permanent ASTONISHED look on his kite.
isn't there anything better on than that mush?
mind you, pubs open at 7.
Binoche wrote: Noel Edmunds is back on, the smug git
You know that bit between your nutsack and your arse,that little stretch of no mans land that nobody seems to have a name for?
Well,when an old mate from years back was tightrope walking on a garden fence,he slipped and split his difference coming down hard,not on his Coxix or knackers...bang on his difference..He was in agony,but when he pulled round he said "ï've knacked me Noeley Edmonds"
Somehow I knew instantly which part of his body he was on about...and from that day hence forward,it as been known as the Noely Edmonds!Very fitting.
I think it's important we should all know this.
Boatraceface wrote:
Binoche wrote: Noel Edmunds is back on, the smug git
You know that bit between your nutsack and your arse,that little stretch of no mans land that nobody seems to have a name for?
Well,when an old mate from years back was tightrope walking on a garden fence,he slipped and split his difference coming down hard,not on his Coxix or knackers...bang on his difference..He was in agony,but when he pulled round he said "ï've knacked me Noeley Edmonds"
Somehow I knew instantly which part of his body he was on about...and from that day hence forward,it as been known as the Noely Edmonds!Very fitting.
I think it's important we should all know this.
Proper term is 'perineum' but I will also now refer to it as 'yer Noel Edmonds' Useless waste of space, somewhere between a load of balls and complete arsehole 
Chris Nash wrote:
Boatraceface wrote:
Binoche wrote: Noel Edmunds is back on, the smug git
You know that bit between your nutsack and your arse,that little stretch of no mans land that nobody seems to have a name for?
Well,when an old mate from years back was tightrope walking on a garden fence,he slipped and split his difference coming down hard,not on his Coxix or knackers...bang on his difference..He was in agony,but when he pulled round he said "ï've knacked me Noeley Edmonds"
Somehow I knew instantly which part of his body he was on about...and from that day hence forward,it as been known as the Noely Edmonds!Very fitting.
I think it's important we should all know this.
Proper term is 'perineum' but I will also now refer to it as 'yer Noel Edmonds' Useless waste of space, somewhere between a load of balls and complete arsehole
The perineum is not a waste of space, it's actually an erogenous zone
and I shall never use the term 'Noel Edmonds' for it cos that's seriously off putting 
Is there a Mighty Boosh xmas special? Thought they showed a preview clip the other night , but was maybe just a scene from this week's upcoming (last of series climax?) episode.
Sexy Beast is on , never seen that funnily enough so i'll catch that.Extras aye , should be a good un.I will have a look at To The Manor Born , use to quite like that back in the day
Sure there was one or two others that maybe worth a look when i was flicking through earlier
Boatraceface wrote: [ Well,when an old mate from years back was tightrope walking on a garden fence,he slipped and split his difference coming down hard,not on his Coxix or knackers...bang on his difference...
Came out of the Colloseum club in Coventry one night a couple of years back and decided to take it upon myself to do a summersault/backflip over the fence outside.Of course , unbeknown to my pissed up plastered self there was was way more of drop on t' other side and when i eventually landed i smacked right on the old coxix.Panic all round also that i'd smacked my bonce but no fortunately (some may beg to differ ). Coxix was Agony for 2 weeks though
can't wait for Extras. should be cracker. he's a big star now innee who goes on Big Brother.
Only fools should come back. Back in Nelson Mandela House.
Minx wrote:
The perineum is not a waste of space, it's actually an erogenous zone
and I shall never use the term 'Noel Edmonds' for it cos that's seriously off putting
Most of them do have strange-looking beards though.
you see. the ting about my work, is that i can't see YOWCHOWBS.
but i shall rush home at 60mph. maybe 110. switch the lappy on. not take my coat off. swig some milk at the fridge first, and view it. then wipe the excess milk off my shirt &/or tie.
cheers Al.
King John Honest John wrote: you see. the ting about my work, is that i can't see YOWCHOWBS.
I can see 'em, but can't hear 'em. No soundcards at work.
Facking pointless really. 
nowt much else part from Extras then .Might have a look at this
"The Mighty Boosh Live
Highlight
Wednesday 26 December 11:30pm - 1:55am BBC3
Cult comedy show takes to the stage, filmed during a national tour. Vince Noir and Howard Moon are working in Naboo's shop when a mystery box unleashes the deadly Hitcher, launching them on a life-or-death quest to find a rare gem."
actually , that's boxing day.will be out that day and night.best day to get out on the piss once all the xmas day family gathering chores are out the way
ROCKET MICK wrote: SO to conclude.........not too much to relieve the boredom for Telly viewers.
Yer can always rely on NOOL to relieve the boredom ? ...Can't we? ......
MORE 4 Tonight
21:00 21 Grams
[subtitles] [audio described] [widescreen]
(2003) Director Alejandro Gonzalez dismantles linear time in this dramatic and powerful film. 23:25 24 Hour Party People [subtitles] [widescreen] (2001) Steve Coogan stars in this 'bio-pic' loosely based on the life Factory Records founder Tony Wilson.
Nick King wrote: Dr Who, and a new episode of "To The Manor Born", apparently...
feat. Kylie Minogue!
:D
Fonejacker Christmas Special tomorrow night Thursday Dec 20th E4 10.30PM
Trailer don't look too exciting but i'll be tuning in
Mince Pies.Talk To Me
I don't even look what's on - it's just the same old rubbish they pull out every year........HOWEVER.....
Corrie and 'tenders are always good for a laugh!
After that.......tele goes off in this house!
(We sit and read bible stories instead). 
Kath wrote: I don't even look what's on - it's just the same old rubbish they pull out every year........HOWEVER.....
Corrie and 'tenders are always good for a laugh!
After that.......tele goes off in this house!
(We sit and read bible stories instead).
Contrary to what you may think, the Bible has never shied away from talking about sex. In fact, the entire Song of Solomon is dedicated to describing a couple getting it on, complete with lines like "I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers". This verse is particularly explicit, though, informing us that Egyptians are hung like farmyard animals, and can ejaculate in quantities to rival the annual flooding of the Nile.
Keep in mind, the Egyptians were the Jews' former slave masters and are the bad guys in this story. So, you know their reputation for supreme endowment was well earned when the worst their enemies could say was, "Go on! Go back to those big-cocked bastards! I hope you're happy with their enormous dongs."
The old Egyptians didn't exactly run from their reputation. Egyptian ruins are littered with statues like the one on the right (this one is Min, the god of huge dong-having). They even invented the phallic obelisk to advertise it (picture the Washington Monument, that's an obelisk). That was their statement to the world: "Gaze upon our dick tower and despair."
This passage creates a problem for many new Bible readers. Once you've read this, it is impossible to go back and read the above story of Moses killing the Egyptian guy the same way. When it speaks of the Egyptian beating the Hebrew slave, you have no choice but to imagine him turkey slapping the man. If anything, however, it makes Moses' deadly intervention all the more justified.
I'm sure this was Kath's favorite bible story...
for more...go here
Jeff, you DO realise that as I read that link a sound not unlike that of cartridges sliding into a pump action shootin iron was heard here at cambo towers?
Some poor fucker will get both barrels soon enough...and probably on here too
As for telly....RI Christmas lectures are on biology (=not a proper science) so probably not the xmas highlight they usually are.....it's mad that they are for kids.....who's kids? DID Einstein BREED with Curie? Seriously sometimes they get to university level stuff, and others they just relate the basic stuff in beautiful ways.....but fsckin biology? yawn.
And even I am not lookin forward to the Dr special. The trailer has ruined it for me.....a real, physical object, breaching a TARDIS, a thing which in 44 years of WhoLore, has many times been desribed as not actually BEING there.....the police box (or whatever, if the thing still works) is "mapped onto" the huge interior space, it simply (by all that has gone before, rather than any sound science, which Dr Who avoids brilliantly) is not possible for any object from the outside world to enter it. And the next series looks shite.....YEAAAAH let's get rid of Martha who's clever and strong and really enjoyable to watch, and replace her with Catherine "am ah bovvered" Tate.....MASTERSTTROKE! BUT, why don't we bring the annoying obnoxious chav whore back into it as well in case anyone's still watching, it doesn't matter who difinitively we wrote her out, these idiots will swallow any bollox we tell 'em for how she came back. Balls to it I say.
Seems Extras Xmas Special has already been shown in the US?!
Mate of mine said watch out for an extremely crude joke about 'fish stew'.
El Jarvo wrote: Seems Extras Xmas Special has already been shown in the US?!
Mate of mine said watch out for an extremely crude joke about 'fish stew'.
Posted this last week then suddenly thought yesterday ... if it's been shown in the US, then it must be over BitTorrent sites already.
It is. Sat in and watched it last night. Bit long at nearly 1hr30 and downright maudlin in places but does have some proper belly laughs - the 'fish stew' joke is indeed the hilite.
Can't imagine what the Yanks make of this though, seeing as it's co-owned by HBO. Barry and Robbie from Eastenders working in Carphone Warehouse together must be totally lost on them! It's not really a big one for international stars this - Clive Owen's in it, and also Gordon Ramsay (who I guess is an international star now?) but then you get the likes of Hale and Pace, Lionel Blair and Vernon Kay.
El Jarvo wrote:
King John Honest John wrote: you see. the ting about my work, is that i can't see YOWCHOWBS.
I can see 'em, but can't hear 'em. No soundcards at work.
Facking pointless really.
use your headphones!
& cambo - if nothing from the outside world can get in, how do the assistants manage it?
hibster wrote:
Doctor? wrote: http://www.digiguide.co.uk/
mike's got his own guide?
The chapter on his left armpit is truly shocking.
As for folks getting in or out, that would be via the transdimkensional interface, or door as we know it.
so the door is mapped in as well is it? stands to reason if you can do that then other things can also break through
hibster wrote: fook me, an answer in under 10 minutes, do you live on the internet?
Classic comment from HIBSTER.Merry XMAS
Hey who's looking at my guide?
Doctor Who - Voyage of the Damned looks good on Xmas day, oh and the Queens speech
El Jarvo wrote:
hibster wrote: use your headphones!
Unprofessional!
Bluetooth dongle and an earpiece, should work, tho you'll look a complete wanker.
Hibster, actually, I'd been out shopping and had just that moment returned, and since my laptop (or giant remote control as it really is) was at hand, a simple refershing of the page was all it took.
Fonejacker . This geezer at about 15 seconds in sounds like Liam to me 
Also check out 4.50 in - 'The Automated Property Line' 
Burt Reynolds wrote: Was it me or was Dr Who a pot of poop?
Well it was ludicrously contrived and wracked with incoherence, does that count?
Also, Kylie looked 65, and next series looks pish apart from the Sontarans (apparently either the Ben Kingsley as Davros stories were bollox or they haven't shot it yet)
Doctor? wrote:
Burt Reynolds wrote: Was it me or was Dr Who a pot of poop?
Well it was ludicrously contrived and wracked with incoherence, does that count?
Also, Kylie looked 65, and next series looks pish apart from the Sontarans (apparently either the Ben Kingsley as Davros stories were bollox or they haven't shot it yet)
It was alright,copied POSEIDON ADVENTURE in places,especially the big bird feeling guilty about slowing everyone down.
Memorable moment was Kylie grabbing a suitcase,you're there expecting her to do something technical,but she puts it on the floor to stand on to snog the Doctor.
Oh and the Doctor is a perv. "Do you want to travel with me?" "Do you want to come with me?"
...Then you get a 60 year old bloke who wants to come,and it's "Oh I travel alone" What a bastard!
New Series....The OOD are back!!
I kept missing Dr Who when it was on, so I've got a question: what in the name of all things decent happened to Martha? Where's she gone?
Tonight Matthew, seeing as I'm coming down with flu, will be avoiding any pubs/parties and be watching The Old Curiosity Shop on ITV.
Bugger all else on!
Doctor? wrote: Also, Kylie looked 65
I'm moving to Norn Iron if all your pensioners look like this! 
Perversely, I thought she looked about TEN - she's so dinky!
The two drive off down the motorway happily reunited.
(Andy & Maggie - final scene in Extras tonight -
)
King John Honest John wrote: The two drive off down the motorway happily reunited.
(Andy & Maggie - final scene in Extras tonight -
And let's not forget Andy Millman in Dr Who!
watched virtually nil telly this time.
cept MOTD last night. had to watch that. a long wait up for the Reds.
Miss Disco wrote: I kept missing Dr Who when it was on, so I've got a question: what in the name of all things decent happened to Martha? Where's she gone?
Don't know how she come to leave,but she's making a couple of appearances in the new series,and she's in the new series of the Doctor Who spin-off TORCHWOOD.
King John Honest John wrote: The two drive off down the motorway happily reunited.
(Andy & Maggie - final scene in Extras tonight -
Bizarre this. Watched the HBO version as a torrent then watched last night's BBC offering cos the burd hadn't seen it.
Names were changed between each offering! A comment about Neil Morrissey last night, was replaced by Rob Schneider (who?) in the US version and references to Russell Grant, Kate Adie and even Ruby Wax in the UK version were all again different in the US version.
The Jade Goody doll at the start was actually a Kramer from Seinfeld doll in the US version!
Andy to June Sarpong - something like " you haven't compromised your dignity? You spent 20 minutes making porridge in your stillettos and thong"
edit: just watched again it was
June " I want to be a serious journalist"
Andy " June , yesterday you spent 20 minutes making porridge in a thong and high heels"
June "So?"
Andy " I don't think Kate Adie started out like that"
June " Who?"
Andy to Gordon Ramsay - " oooh you think you so hard because you shout at people in kitchens.Who works in kitchens? women , gays and the french .ooh yer well ard .You failed footballing fuck"
Fish Stew / Fist You
How long have you worked for Andy?
What's Andy like to work for as a boss?
Oh, and I'd gladly go in the Big Bruvver house with that bird that played Amy in there. 
Here's that bit in the US version which was different to the UK. Kramer doll instead of Jade Goody doll.
El Jarvo wrote:
Oh, and I'd gladly go in the Big Bruvver house with that bird that played Amy in there.
Aye
Upon listening to Andy's rant about celebrity bullshit , pandering to the paparazzi etc she tells him she'll join him in leaving the house - but then asks him to wait 5 minutes while she changes into her bikini because the paparazzi will be outside
King John Honest John wrote: who was she?
Thought that meself.Face seemed familiar.Is she an actual "celeb" ?
Xmas telly is fuckin shite!
Wanted to watch Dr who but had to go see the family.
7,000 channels on sky and still fook all on! 
Looks like the old doovde collecky will be getting some hammer! :nod;
El Jarvo wrote:
King John Honest John wrote: The two drive off down the motorway happily reunited.
(Andy & Maggie - final scene in Extras tonight -
Bizarre this. Watched the HBO version as a torrent then watched last night's BBC offering cos the burd hadn't seen it.
Names were changed between each offering! A comment about Neil Morrissey last night, was replaced by Rob Schneider (who?) in the US version and references to Russell Grant, Kate Adie and even Ruby Wax in the UK version were all again different in the US version.
The Jade Goody doll at the start was actually a Kramer from Seinfeld doll in the US version!
kramer dolls don't work on the same level as the jade goody, as people like kramer.
rob schneider is that dufus who plays odd ball characters, deuce bigalow was one. interestingly on IMDB he's down as being in the US tv version of men behaving badly, didn't even know they'd done that
hibster wrote: rob schneider is that dufus who plays odd ball characters, deuce bigalow was one. interestingly on IMDB he's down as being in the US tv version of men behaving badly, didn't even know they'd done that
Just thought of another joke different between the two versions. When Andy burst into the Ivy univited and his agent put him firmly in his place saying his aspirations were too big his nemesis Greg Lindley-Jones suggested a TV show he could go on to boost his career.
In the US version he said Celebrity Fit Club - which was funny.
But on the Engerlish version he just suggested Emmerdale. Which was shite.
TV tonight -
Life of Brian CH4 at 21.00
The Big Finish BBC1 at 21.40
Only An Excuse BBC1 Scotland at 22.45
Still Game BBC1 Scotland at 23.15
I usually record Jools Annual Hootenanny (BBC2 at 23.05)
but after seeing the line-up, i don't think i'll bother - Paul McCartney, Kaiser Chiefs, Kylie, Kate Nash, Madness and Mika.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles CH4 at 23.50.
John Sludden wrote: TV tonight - Life of Brian CH4 at 21.00 I usually record Jools Annual Hootenanny (BBC2 at 23.05) but after seeing the line-up, i don't think i'll bother - Paul McCartney, Kaiser Chiefs, Kylie, Kate Nash, Madness and Mika.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles CH4 at 23.50.
Shite missed my two favourite films tonight flicking from Jools and Take That.
