The Simpsons

Originally posted by April Alright here are a few of my favorites:Ralph: "My cat's breath smells like cat food"Ralph: "I like paste"Homer (trying to play Lisa's sax): "Sax-a-ma-phone"HAHAHAHAHAHA

Yep, ol' Ralph is good for a quote. How could I forget "When I grow up I'm going to bovine university!!!"

Homer:

"To Alcohol!....The cause of...and solution to....all of life's problems"

Also, another good line from a soccer(Football) commercial they were making fun of:

"Soccer....greatest sport, etc....ties!!!!!!

"I sleep in a drawer"

Lisa: "We could die in our sleep at any time"

Grampa Simpson: "Now you know how I feel" (The he instantly falls asleep and starts snoring)

Ralph on the island: It tastes like..burning!

As Homer's about to jump off a building, the guy in line behind him pushes him saying "Less chat, more splat."

And from the Sexual harrassment episode, when Homer's ambushed in the shower and is knocked cold:"Simpson sleeps in the nude under this tarp, which he believes makes him more potent" or something to that effect.

From the epsiode where Homer is tempted by a coworker voiced by Michele Pfeiffer. They are spending the night in the same room after a Chinese dinner. After opening his fortune cookie,which says "You Will Find A New Love", Homer thinks about his family and starts crying.

Mindy: What's wrong?

Homer: .....we're going to have sex.

Mindy: Oh ...well, we don't have to.

Homer: Yes we do. The cookie told me so.

Mindy: Well, desserts aren't always right.

Homer(still crying): But they're so sweet.

Homer is becoming an astronaut, and in the process of becoming one, he calls up President Clinton. "I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you."

tram am poline

i am evil homer i am evil homer i am evil homer i am evil homer

At Apu's Wedding:

Homer-"I am Ganeesh. This wedding angers me. All will feel my wrath"

:D

"Finally! The great taste of Worcestershire sauce in a soda!"

(hope I spelt that right)

Was that an attempt at Worcestershire sauce? or a joke?

Yes, and I fixed it from the atrocious attempt I made at spelling it. Thanks, Hank

Homer in the snow clutching a tv close to his heart and saying :-

teacher, mother, secret lover

Homer is watching TV, and Marge and Lisa walk in and want to talk to him.

"But if I talk to you, I won't be watching TV. You can see the dilema I'm in, can't you?"

monorail, monorail, monorail

I can honestly say that I have never ever seen an episode of the Simpsons, so haven't got a fucking clue what you lot are all on about !

another life wasted :D

Mr. Burns to his assistant Mr. Smithers:

"Dogs are idiots! What would you think if I started humping your leg and started sniffing around?"

"Ummm...if YOU did it sir?"

Homer, what's the secret of your beautiful hair?

Rinse and repeat, always twice....

Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead.

Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.

Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.

Homer: Explain how.

Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

The late George Harrison on viewing the B-Sharps' reunion on top of Moe's: "It's been done."

Leonard Nimoy after saving Krusty on the Monorail: "No, the world needs laughter"

Conan O'Brien to Bart during a commercial break: "Only I may dance."

(sung to the tune of the theme from 'cheers')

when the world has got you down and you want to end your life broken home, dead end job and problems with the wife

down throw in the towel 'cos there's a place right down the block where you can drink your misery away

at flaming moe's (lets all go to flaming moes, lets all go to flaming mo-o-oes) flaming moes, flaming moes where liquor in a mug warms you like a hug and happiness is just a flaming moe away happiness is just a flaming moe away.

Homer orders a subliminal weight-loss tape but gets an "improve your vocabulary" one instead, resulting in these great lines:

"Ah, what a Machiavellian countenance"

"A sextet of ale!"

Troy McClure after the Fuzzy sex ed film: "Kids, now that you know how to do it......don't."

Bart, after learning that the school will show a film depicting the founding of Springfield back in the early days of America:

"I hope they show the time where they traded guns to the Indians for corn, and then the Indians shot them, and took the corn."

The newsman, Kent Brockman, reporting on the immininet arrival of a hurricane to Springfield:

"....and the Weather Service has warned us to brace ourselves for the onslaught of Hurricane Barbara. And if you think naming a destructive storm after a woman is sexist, you obviously have never seen the gals grabbing for items at a clearance sale."

Marge, frowning: "Mmmmmm.....it maybe true, but he still shouldn't say it."

Save me JEBUS!!!

I have a goodie.

When Homer organises the phoney kidnapping of Mr Burns son, and Kent Brockman shows on the news footage of Homer being shot.

Kent: A Bloody end for Homer simpson Simpsons watching TV: Ahhhh! Kent: One of several possible scenarios possible.