You know you're a New Order fan when...
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You have heated debates about fook all.
you use a false name and pretend to be an oriental hooker
you can't get on with things you really should be doing because your too busy writing crap on here!
- you tattoo yourself with something New Order related
- you spend thousands following them
- you go on holiday with fellow fans
- you do every DJ's head in with requests for New Order
- you threaten to stab a DJ if he doesn't play New Order
- you plan to have a New Order song played at your funeral
when the line you hear most is
"do you ever listen to anything else? put something better on, put the smiths on"
which soon results in much much more NO even louder,
when you spend months and months hunting down particular gigs for one particular version even though its shit - i.e She's Lost Control in Landan
...prefer Peter Saville to Jimmy Saville.
...call your PES football team FC NewOrder, and stick a bright young thing, Sumner, up front.
when you son or daughter(in my case and only 6 years) starts ranting and raving in the car when you try changing "Love will Tear us Apart" to another track...
Oh and she also know all the words.......
Ok it's J.D but you get the gist![]()
Missy Jem wrote:
- you tattoo yourself with something New Order related
- you spend thousands following them
- you go on holiday with fellow fans
- you do every DJ's head in with requests for New Order
- you threaten to stab a DJ if he doesn't play New Order
- you plan to have a New Order song played at your funeral
Fook.......I'm sussed :o
Suf......c ed wrote: when you son or daughter(in my case and only 6 years) starts ranting and raving in the car when you try changing "Love will Tear us Apart" to another track...
Oh and she also know all the words.......
Ok it's J.D but you get the gist
I had that with Jizzstream four years ago from my then four-year-old.
When you leave a party in a pissed angry mood because your friends insist listening to other music than your beloved New Order.
... More than half of the music on your MP3 player is NO and JD.
... You dress like the band members.
... You go to a music store you have to look for NO and JD stuff even if you where just there the other day.
you come home from work,and your 14 year old daughter,who is continually telling you "yer taste in music's rubbish"
has got BLT on ![]()
When you fantasise about having sex with Gillian Gilbert*
* not me yet, but I can't rule it out
...when you plan a strict curry diet for your heavily pregnant wife so that your newborn arrives before BAD LIEUTENANT tours!
you dye your hair blonde like barney.
you use a sleavcover for your wedding "ceremony"
you use neworder songs in your wedding "ceremony"
hey now what you doing..
MONTY wrote: ...when you plan a strict curry diet for your heavily pregnant wife so that your newborn arrives before BAD LIEUTENANT tours!
Unbeatable
When your daughter (mine is only 3) knwos the lyrics to Ceremony and asks for New Order on the DVD all the time. Also role playing the NO family, she already has a favourite which is Hooky. She call Barny Grandpa Bernard
The Shadow wrote: or when you instantly book tickets to see BL without hearing the album
Or when you book tickets assuming the album will be shite anyway. :(
When you talk like Barney, wear his clothes and haircut and you go to see them live.
Also:
- Have NO ringtones
- Wear NO T-Shirts and badges
- Make everyone everywhere to listen to NO
- Visit NOOL
- Still read about NO although the band is no more and you practically everything
- Put pictures and covert art on walls
- Collect bootlegs
- Use Factory methods of management
Jed Stephens wrote: when you look like this!
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ha ha ![]()
Hooky's biggest fan Margaret aka scary fookin mary!![]()
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-everybody around you hates NO because you wont stop playing/talking about NO.
-broke once again for buying something NO related.
-have pictures of Bernard on your wall instead of some chick in a bikini.
-have several copies of blue Monday.
-bitch about: bad lieutenant, free bass, Paul Morley, sleeves, versions of songs, remixes, Bernard, Hooky, joy division.
-you know what Steve loves.
-hate yourself for being born to late.
eskamiya wrote: -everybody around you hates NO because you wont stop playing/talking about NO.
-broke once again for buying something NO related.
:D
You're a syphilitic, middle-aged borderline-alcoholic with questionable social skills and a giant cock.
And that's just the ladies.