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I fookin hate them. Singing about bloody christmas, and asking questions such as:
"What month is August?" "Is The Daily Star a newspaper?" "Do i have to declare this gift on our gifts register?"
and statments like:
"All cocaine makes you do is stop you getting bladdered and makes you waffle"
What a bunch of fucking idiots. But i'm sure someone can better this.
Lets share the idiocy.
I think anyone would have a hard time beating that coke comment.
But I worked in fucktard central...I'll have a think about it.
But then again, this is the same girl who last week stated that she had an abortion because she has a holiday booked for next July.
Uncle Liam wrote: But then again, this is the same girl who last week stated that she had an abortion because she has a holiday booked for next July.
Where do you work?
I have a gem from a couple of my (now ex) work colleagues. I used to work for Debenhams (on the home department) and I watched with amusement as they tried to fix a free standing lamp together. Thirty minutes later the lamp was up - but not on. 'Sam, this light won't work' they said. I suggested that maybe if they plugged it in, then it would work (as a joke). 'Oh yeah, we haven't plugged it in!!!'
Hmmmm.....
I work with a lad, another surveyor, who went to do a survey on a council house. A small woman opened the door and he asked her if her mummy was in.
Turns out she was a 55 year old midget!
Halfwit!
A finance company in stockport. i have just been warned for asking a girl (a different one, believe it or not) if she has a brain or does she simply choose not to use it. 
My mate Cara at a party in American to an alibino African American...."Loads of black people here, you any black blood in ya then?"
(if u read that mixerman thing...Cara is "dumbass" except she's exceptionally talented....if you've heard "coming home to the sun" I think it's called By david Homes..that's her singin)
I need Leanne here, since she still actually works in fucktard central to remind me of the idiocy of the place. I've blocked it out. there is one lass who goess back to the same town in Turkey 2 or 3 times a year, just to shag her way through men there. Never a different country, town, or even street...same place. It's not like she goes out and enjoys the country...she sleeps all day, drinks for 8 hours the shags the nearest well hung Turk.
We have a security gaurd, not in the least affectionately known as "Dougal" after the thick priest of the same name...who when a car came up to the gates at 3am...phoned up to US to ask what to do.
more will come to me if i try, but the memories are too painful
Uncle Liam wrote: A finance company in stockport. i have just been warned for asking a girl (a different one, believe it or not) if she has a brain or does she simply choose not to use it.
a substitute teacher in jacksonville was caught snorting cocaine off the teacher's desk in a 7th grade science class this year. that shows real dedication.
See, not only is it the fact that these people are stupid, and that there are people from tribes in the amazon who havent yet been discovered by civilization that could do their jobs better, its that this stupidity is seems to get these people rewarded. Its the fact that these people are STILL employed in their positions, and yet when, and i say when, they fuck up, its my head that gets it. fucking brilliant. 
Uncle Liam wrote: A finance company in stockport. i have just been warned for asking a girl (a different one, believe it or not) if she has a brain or does she simply choose not to use it.
LOL, I got a stern telling off for asking the same question of my line manager, in writing....in full on S. Campbell Stylee too.
I also got one for saving a record into the database containing.... "name: mr obnoxious ganch" "address: who cares he was a mong"
A letter actually came back from the client asking "what is a mong"
A co-worker was fired for telling his ex, who also worked there, that she should have gotten a boob job instead of braces.
Ahhh work place harrassment laws...love em...let's hand all the spiteful retards a gun.
(not saying, y'know...y'know)
Hey Liam- get this. Ohh Mr Sayer- you look a bit rough today, well it was the Darlo Order X-mas night out last night- went to see Doves. WHO??? What sound of a name is that, never seem them on tv, etc. etc.... 'Well what class things are you going to' (i asked). A fucking Abba tribute band came the reply. So yes Liam- I also work with a bunch of cunts.
I had Mogwai on in my room the other day (whom i f**king love) & 2 people commented that i need help if i can listen to that racket. Surrounded by cocknoses each one up each others arse. Twats- DIE all :D
You could work for this guy. 
14 December 2005
YOU FAT BITCH
Boss abused me every day axed worker tells tribunal
By Richard Smith
A WOMAN was sacked after enduring daily sexual torment from her boss who branded her a "fat, fiery Sicilian bitch", a tribunal heard yesterday.
Telesales worker Maria Maniglia, 40, claimed managing director Robert Clarke buried his head in her breasts, hit her bottom and put hardcore porn on her office computer.
The mum-of-two told the employment tribunal: "He would call himself the lord and master and called people his bitches. I tolerated it every day."
Maria was sacked after she walked out in disgust at IT firm Fokus Systems in Box, Wilts. The final straw came in July in a row over personal calls.
Maria said: "He told me 'If you don't stop using that phone your bitch-ass will be fired - bitch'."
A second telesales worker, Emma Dodds, 23, told the Bristol hearing Clarke began commenting on her figure when she became pregnant and made lewd comments.
She said: "He asked if I'd had sex that night."
She also alleged Clarke once opened a toilet door while she was using it.
Emma said she was fired in May when she refused to join in with a dirty phone call from her boss.
Engaged Clarke, 39, denied downloading porn but said adult films were often swapped by workers.
He also said there was never any inappropriate touching but added: "I admit sometimes calling people bitches. It was just harmless office banter."
The panel reserved its judgment on Maria's claim of unfair dismissal and sex discrimination until next month.
someone at work told me tonight becuase i Like New Order i need to 'get with it'
she likes System of a down, the argument didn't last long, i won
someone at work told me tonight becuase i Like New Order i need to 'get with it'
she likes System of a down, the argument didn't last long, i won
patrick stewart appreciation society wrote: someone at work told me tonight becuase i Like New Order i need to 'get with it'
she likes System of a down, the argument didn't last long, i won
What a downer,two arguements in the same night.People i WORK with.........few and far between!
Uncle Liam wrote: See, not only is it the fact that these people are stupid, and that there are people from tribes in the amazon who havent yet been discovered by civilization that could do their jobs better, its that this stupidity is seems to get these people rewarded. Its the fact that these people are STILL employed in their positions, and yet when, and i say when, they fuck up, its my head that gets it. fucking brilliant.
hmmm & you say they're the stupid ones?
i like the people i work with - even if most have them haven't heard of half the bands i go to see. (makes them very similar to shug in my book!)
A fella I used to work with at the ole W-D was more frightening than funny. He was in his mid-thirties, still lived with his parents, and apparently had the ambition in life of snapping pictures of the cashiers's buttocks while they were working. 
And one of my new co-workers has man-boobs, that he apparently enjoys rubbing together at the drop of a hat 
And one of my new co-workers has man-boobs, that he apparently enjoys rubbing together at the drop of a hat eek!
Family BUISNESS then?
patrick stewart appreciation society wrote: someone at work told me tonight becuase i Like New Order i need to 'get with it'
she likes System of a down, the argument didn't last long, i won
Never had you down for someone with a good right hook. Well done!
Rocket Mick wrote: And one of my new co-workers has man-boobs, that he apparently enjoys rubbing together at the drop of a hat eek!
Family BUISNESS then?
I only heard about it. My friend at work who told me the story wasn't so fortunate :barf:
Steve Campbell wrote:
patrick stewart appreciation society wrote: someone at work told me tonight becuase i Like New Order i need to 'get with it'
she likes System of a down, the argument didn't last long, i won
Never had you down for someone with a good right hook. Well done!
i'm left handed, so it'd be a left hook
depends if you're southpaw, if it's your leading punch, or part of a acombination though really...
a lad I work with says he went home one day and his wife was bent over cleaning a cupboard out...He continued"I could'nt resist,so I dropped me trousers and lifted her skirt....turns out it was only the fuckin Mother-in-law" :rip:
hibster wrote: depends if you're southpaw, if it's your leading punch, or part of a acombination though really...
well my right hand is practically useless, i don't use it for anything unless it needs two hands
