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Claims to Fame...

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Have seen both the head coach of the local high school state championship team, as well as a prominent local businessman, naked, though there were no fluids swapped. I draw the line at underage boys in the case of the former, and I wasn't sure how the chlorinated water in the hot tub would figure in the latter.

Spent the night in a hotel room with Jeff once.............but I don't recall if any "alien invaders" tried to get past anybody's bomb bay doors......:crazy:

there was another one that involved high school girls, alcohol, and a Traci Lords porno......but all I can recall about that is the rash I got afterward. Yeah, just like that.

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Traci Lords' Fake ID wrote: Have seen both the head coach of the local high school state championship team, as well as a prominent local businessman, naked, though there were no fluids swapped. I draw the line at underage boys in the case of the former, and I wasn't sure how the chlorinated water in the hot tub would figure in the latter.

Spent the night in a hotel room with Jeff once.............but I don't recall if any "alien invaders" tried to get past anybody's bomb bay doors......:crazy:

there was another one that involved high school girls, alcohol, and a Traci Lords porno......but all I can recall about that is the rash I got afterward. Yeah, just like that.

Mate, that's almost a great name. How's about "Traci Lord's Inevitable Anally-induced Prolapse" as a much better substitute???

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I nominate this for thread of the year and will greedily drain the ballsack, vaginal reservoirs,bladders and/or bowells of any and all who support me in this endeavour.

BTW, as the doctor, I once kept Davros as my gimp for 375 years, his wisened body was great, and he's totally paralysed, so I could go in under that Dalek base chair and fiddly and diddle to my heart's content. Best time was when we got him of on the table and me and 3 Daleks, and an ogron took turns fisting him (his nipsy was well mangled in the accident so it's pretty red raw to start with), while two sontarans furiously wanked and came GALONS over us all....interesting that was, at least now I know what that vent on the back of their neck is so tender!!!!!!!!

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Traci Lords' Fake ID wrote: Spent the night in a hotel room with Jeff once.............but I don't recall if any "alien invaders" tried to get past anybody's bomb bay doors......:crazy:

No chloroform swabs, in the bin?

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Doctor? wrote: I nominate this for thread of the year and will greedily drain the ballsack, vaginal reservoirs,bladders and/or bowells of any and all who support me in this endeavour.

BTW, as the doctor, I once kept Davros as my gimp for 375 years, his wisened body was great, and he's totally paralysed, so I could go in under that Dalek base chair and fiddly and diddle to my heart's content. Best time was when we got him of on the table and me and 3 Daleks, and an ogron took turns fisting him (his nipsy was well mangled in the accident so it's pretty red raw to start with), while two sontarans furiously wanked and came GALONS over us all....interesting that was, at least now I know what that vent on the back of their neck is so tender!!!!!!!!

Doesn't Davros smell, like, really bad??

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I can not die. I should have died on four occasions, but here I am. Then again I seem to be stuck in Neighbours, so who knows where I am. :crazy:

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

Doctor? wrote: I nominate this for thread of the year and will greedily drain the ballsack, vaginal reservoirs,bladders and/or bowells of any and all who support me in this endeavour.

BTW, as the doctor, I once kept Davros as my gimp for 375 years, his wisened body was great, and he's totally paralysed, so I could go in under that Dalek base chair and fiddly and diddle to my heart's content. Best time was when we got him of on the table and me and 3 Daleks, and an ogron took turns fisting him (his nipsy was well mangled in the accident so it's pretty red raw to start with), while two sontarans furiously wanked and came GALONS over us all....interesting that was, at least now I know what that vent on the back of their neck is so tender!!!!!!!!

Doesn't Davros smell, like, really bad??

He does now :nod: ;)

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i once bummed kylie minogue to death, twice

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old lead foot wrote: i once bummed kylie minogue to death, twice

Much respec'. Tell me, old leaden bell-end, I've always imagined, despite her diminutive stature, that Kylie had a right gaping welly-top for a flange? I understand you took her via the tradesman's, but can you confirm or deny my speculation??

Many thanks in advance,

TPLT.xxx

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

dominxatrix wrote:

once I randomly buggered Ester Ransom

However, lose one spunk-point for not being able to spell "Esther".

And another for Rantzen :nono:

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

old lead foot wrote: i once bummed kylie minogue to death, twice

Much respec'. Tell me, old leaden bell-end, I've always imagined, despite her diminutive stature, that Kylie had a right gaping welly-top for a flange? I understand you took her via the tradesman's, but can you confirm or deny my speculation??

Many thanks in advance,

TPLT.xxx

yes i can confirm she had rather huge beef curtains for such a small lass but took my inflated manhood like a proper goer

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old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

old lead foot wrote: i once bummed kylie minogue to death, twice

Much respec'. Tell me, old leaden bell-end, I've always imagined, despite her diminutive stature, that Kylie had a right gaping welly-top for a flange? I understand you took her via the tradesman's, but can you confirm or deny my speculation??

Many thanks in advance,

TPLT.xxx

yes i can confirm she had rather huge beef curtains for such a small lass but took my inflated manhood like a proper goer

Ah, may thanks for that. Ever thought about getting a tattoo as a memento? Something along the lines of "I saw Kylie's meaty pissflaps whilst poking her in the Gary Glitter"?

I think it'd look fabulous.

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Yes and we could all have them that said "It's true, he told us all about it on Neworderonline.com"

I'm having the Ceremony dog under mine :nod:

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

old lead foot wrote: i once bummed kylie minogue to death, twice

Much respec'. Tell me, old leaden bell-end, I've always imagined, despite her diminutive stature, that Kylie had a right gaping welly-top for a flange? I understand you took her via the tradesman's, but can you confirm or deny my speculation??

Many thanks in advance,

TPLT.xxx

yes i can confirm she had rather huge beef curtains for such a small lass but took my inflated manhood like a proper goer

Ah, may thanks for that. Ever thought about getting a tattoo as a memento? Something along the lines of "I saw Kylie's meaty pissflaps whilst poking her in the Gary Glitter"?

I think it'd look fabulous.

thats a swell idea, i could get it done in helvetica along the length off my cock

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Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote: Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

if i become erect, you could see it from here:eek3:

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old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote: Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

if i become erect, you could see it from here:eek3:

Really? You should change your username to "I've Got a Cock Like a Fucking Flagpole".

:nod:

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An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"Oi gavnah, can oi get vis dwess cleaned bar temorarr." she asked (in a Mancunain's bad imwession of Essex accent).

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"Narr" she replies. "Vis toim it's mayonnaise, innit."

I'll get my coat.

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Reverend Big wrote:

I'm having the Ceremony dog under mine :nod:

Er, I thought tattoo's were for losers.

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Seventeen dwarves from the Czech Republic named themselves after me in 1994.

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Shug wrote: Seventeen dwarves from the Czech Republic named themselves after me in 1994.

After you wanked each and every one of them?

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Malcolm McDowell's Tattered Foreskin wrote:

Shug wrote: Seventeen dwarves from the Czech Republic named themselves after me in 1994.

After you wanked each and every one of them?

That was Baldrick's job. They paid him in turnips.

That would be his claim to fame :nod:

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old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote: Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

if i become erect, you could see it from here:eek3:

Ahhh but how many settings have you got???

jigglywiggly, power pummel and lovepump* are my personal faves

and of course swivel... watching a petite bird spin like a top at the end of my shaft is a sight to behold

*it goes all the way up to 11 man

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dominxatrix wrote:

old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote: Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

if i become erect, you could see it from here:eek3:

Ahhh but how many settings have you got???

jigglywiggly, power pummel and lovepump* are my personal faves

and of course swivel... watching a petite bird spin like a top at the end of my shaft is a sight to behold

*it goes all the way up to 11 man

Love, tell me really: would you rather have a stick of vibrating rubber shoved up yer cunt or is man-flesh the real deal??

NB - I probably know the answer already...

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Give me the vibratin rubber,anyday..:thumb:

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Why choose when you can have both?

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TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

dominxatrix wrote:

old lead foot wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote: Superbio. Make sure you post a pic on here when you get it done.

Failing that, come round and show me sometime....

:love2:

if i become erect, you could see it from here:eek3:

Ahhh but how many settings have you got???

jigglywiggly, power pummel and lovepump* are my personal faves

and of course swivel... watching a petite bird spin like a top at the end of my shaft is a sight to behold

*it goes all the way up to 11 man

Love, tell me really: would you rather have a stick of vibrating rubber shoved up yer cunt or is man-flesh the real deal??

NB - I probably know the answer already...

But the rubber one is the only one I have to use on other people:cry:

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Jem wrote: Why choose when you can have both?

Good answer, Jemima. Now, would you let Zammo do you up the shitter if he gave you free smack???

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I wouldn't let anybody :nono:

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