ROOM 101

Originally posted by chris p Electrical/computer stores who employ utter fuckwits with over gelled hair and whose dress sense would put man at C and A to shame.You know the ones.Also ,PC World.If there's any sense in the world ,daisy cutters(those big bombs used to flatten a very flat country) should be put to more effective use to destroy this heinous vision of selling very dull , very beige boxes to extremlely dull people.

Christophe, me old mucker, glad to see yer getting into the festive spirit

Weird looking Electrical store geeks with gel in their hair...BANISHED but "where in the world" would we be without PC World? probably somewhere a lot better. PC World....BANISHED

Originally posted by chris p Before I go one more for the vaults.French radio disc jockeys.They talk too fast and its all in French.And I thought Steve "Lammo" Lamacq was bad.Thankyou and goodnight.

Christophe That's probably because he's French. But that's one of the best unsuccesful attempts, very funny mate

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Slow Jam

Seb, nice try, but although I rank Slow Jam pretty low myself, I love Barney's lyrics on it....Honestly The bit about "getting thirsty for a beer" always cheers me up, so unfortunately for you Slow Jam stays!

Originally posted by Martin Gray That Vauxhall advert with Griff Rhys Jones in his beard and undies - you know the one - fucking hell, how annoying and rank is that ?? Unbelievably, it's still being shown on TV from time to time. For fucks sake!!

Marty, I'm 50/50 with this one, just to see his cheeky chops is enough to crack me up! espescially with his beard and undies I'm sorry, but I just can't do it..Vauxhall ad..Stays

Originally posted by Martin Gray Christmas Records, the whole crappy shitey wankfest in general, when record companies think of the best (worst) ways to induce mass nausea and exodus from this "fair" isle by churning out whatever rancid undercooked moronic lowest common denominator toss they think they can get away with in order to secure that salubrious Number One positon - like, who gives a flying fuck anymore? Why can't they just cancel Christmas and all the fucking cack that we have to endure in the lead up to it? Like - what's more predictable: some hard-tuff-hangin'-pseudo-street-cred-but-in-reality-just-some-more-nonceycrud boy band (supply your own name here) bringing out - yep - a slushy doggyplop ballad just in time for the festering season. Or some hard-tuff-hangin'-pseudo-street-cred-but-in-reality-just-some-more-nocey-pussy girl band (supply yer own name here) bringing out - yep - a slushy doggyplop ballad just in time for the alcohol-fuelled-wife-beating season. Pah! Cop Out! NEIN DANKE!! Fuck Off! Shug, please get rid of shite Christmas (novelty) records and spare us the humiliation of any further atrocities (we hope, against hope).Actually, I've decided, this year will be the last Christmas I will EVER have to endure. Sometime next year, I will make good my long-threatened promise to jump off the top of a very high building to almost certain bliss. Because, really, I have almost had enough..... I can't take this life anymore. Ranting is all that keeps me sane sometimes......

How could I possibly argue with that, you've exceeded yerself yet again Marty Christmas Records.....BANISHED

Originally posted by Nicolas LeBlanc Wow this is a long thread...You sure have another difinition of IT Girls that I know of.. here it would mean "Information Technology", so women working in the computer world...!Anyways...What would I banish?1) Whiteys.. everybody hates them!2) Major League Baseball - Trying to drop our team!3) NHL Hockey - 82 games of boring stuff just waiting for the damned playoffs..4) Winter.. I don't like freezing my ass at -10 degress all winter.5) Traffic Jams - I hate it when it takes me 90 mins to get home.I can go on and on forever...6) Microsoft - Selling us a software 300$ with almost no new features.7) Netscape - Refusing to dye and making my life a living nightmare because it's not even compatible with itself (4.7x vs 6.x) and other browsers, so I need to make 4 times the damn work to be sure it works on every browser)8) RIAA - They killed Napster.That's enough for tonight...

Glad you've joined the thread Nic, I'm finding it hard to argue with any of your points..Well done, I can't put in NHL Hockey because when they show it over here, we always get to see the best bits, which usually involves about 20 fights..which is always very funny Everything else....BANISHED

Originally posted by Seb Briggs 1 Old People, especially ones that drive2 Babies, esp ones who cry and shout for no fucking reason3 The Daily Mail, for its shite outdated crap for people who think they're more important than they are4 Dominic Mohan from the Sun5 Slough6 Coronation Street7 Those hard plastic footballs that you had at school with little pimples all over them. Nothing has ever come close to the pain felt of one of those smacking your thigh in sub-zero conditions

Old people who drive cars...fucking annoying aren't they, I think babies who cry would have to come under the title of Kids..which have already been Banished, Daily Mail..just because they use words I don't understand, Dominic "I fucking love U2" Mohan..prick! You'll have to explain Slough. I'm a bit partial to Corrie..the Battersbuy's are brilliant. Plastic footballs were even more annoying, when you hit a shot and it's going right for the top corner, and all of a sudden a bit of wind appears and sends it wide

Old people who drive.....BANISHED Daily Mail.....BANISHED Dominic Mohan....BANISHED Plastic Footballs....BANISHED

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Shug, as regards Slough, its a vile little town between Reading and London. Basically its the town that much of Ali G is based around along with Staines. It's got 1 nightclub, which shut at 2 after playing dire pop music. On leaving the club there was always about 3 riot vans waiting outside. Its the only place that I've ever been shit scared to walk around after dark.Fuckin' 'ell for Slough see Corby, sound exactly the same mate, except we've got 3 nightclubs - they're all shite, and there's usually no police protection(ha ha) outside!!I've got some more as wellSleet-not even good enough to be snowTinselJim CarreyKylieGeri H, no in fact all the Spice bintsRichard Blackwood-what a complete wanker this man is...He says nothing funny but laughs loudly and says 'Whos the man' over everything. New Will Smith....don't think so ,knob-jockey

Sleet, Tinse & Jim Carrey all annoying....BANISHED Kylie..more of a difficult one, but just for singing "I Should be so Lucky"....BANISHED Geri, gave me a few hours of enjoyment, when the topless pics came out, but nowadays the skinny mouthy useless bint just gets on everyone's nerves..poncing around with that twat George Michael and Prince Big Ears...BANISHED Richard Blackwood..tosser....BANISHED. Slough continued from above....BANISHED.

Originally posted by Martin Gray Do you know something, this is fucking unbelievable - like I said earlier about wanting to just get the hell out of this twisted fucked-up country: as I 'm posting tonight kid are STILL setting off fireworks in the near distance in this fucking damn god-forsaken twat-filled (except moi) neighbourhood. Can you BELIEVE that? Two fucking weeks later - and they're still going on. Fucking brainless fucking morons the lot of them. What kind of kick can they POSSIBLY get out of this? It's fucking freezing as well these past few days - and here in this shit fucking wanker-strwen neighbourhood gangs of shitty-arsed rancid-weasel-faced motherfuckers are hanging out in the streets at all times of the night in large noisy screaming gangs just to piss neurotics like me right off! Fuck, I need several kilos of explosive and some horrible containable virus just so I can get out there and blast it at them fucking festering knob-end excuses for human beings until their fucking heads shrivel back down into their crabby fucking arses. Please, Shug, Do us a big favour for kids who insist of setting off fireworks three weeks after fucking Bonfire night has passed and all the way to Xmas - shove the biggest most explosively destructive firework you can get hold of up their collectivescrawny fucking arses and blast them in little bloody bone-splintered, steaming gore-splattered pieces to hell, now!! I beg of you! Honestly, if this carries on, you'll all see me in the World Headlines next: Crazed Axe Murderer At The End Of His Tether Sets Loads Of Kids On Fire In A RelentlessOrgy Of Murder And Gratuitous Violence. Or something. DAMN THEM ALL!!! OFF THIS EARTH!! WISH EBOLA ON EVERY LAST ONE OF THE BASTARDS!!!! Think of that horrible climax in the film Hellraiser - That's the kind of fate I wish with every ounce of my being to bestow on all these utterly loathsome useless no-gooder over-breeding motherfucking specimens that overrun and blight our country to the point of no redemption. THROW THEM ALL IN THE FIRE, NOW!!!AND LET 'EM BURN!!!! BURN!!! BURN!!!!!!!

Glad to see you're back to your old self Marty, but as I've already said...Kids have already been Banished...so I suggest you buy some dark clothes, a balaclava, some sticky tape, a blindfold and a big hairy feather duster, kidnap the little Bastards, tie them up and blindfold them, and then tickle the fuck out of the little gobshites, then ask them if they thought it was funny...never mind the reply..shove a firework (preferably a Rocket) up their arse, light it...then stand back and have a great big fucking laugh.......It's the only thing Kids of today will understand....Honestly. Good Luck and let me know what happens

Originally posted by velocity girl shug, will u banish O.A.P. sex scenes? the pat and frank having a dingdong scenes in eastenders were more than i can bear...

Did you not find it funny when Frank turned up in nothing more than a twirling Dicky-bow then ? Your request is my pleasure O.A.P sex scenes...BANISHED

Originally posted by Jeff White Okay, once again, I show my naitivity...what is an OAP sex scene?Now, for my request, Shug, could you find it in your heart to banish all shite bands that cover tunes by New Order? Orgy, frente, and any others that I can't remember, and any more that may come to pass?!?!?!? How dare these fookers defile this music??? :finger::finger::finger:

Jeff an OAP is an Old Age Pensioner, basically anyone over 60 in this country, there really aren't many good covers really, although I like Your Silent Face by that bird, and Love Vigilanties american style is a classic! Trance Covers & Orgy & Frente...BANISHED!

Originally posted by Seb Briggs People who say shite cliches like 'lovely weather...for ducks', 'Cheer up...It might never happen' and 'Lifes a bitch...and then you die' as if these have never been heard or said beforeFrostLast of the summer winePInk FloydPeople who say 'Chill' a lotPeople who say 'I'm so mad / crazy / wacky'. they're not, they're generally the most boring tossers aroundDonna AirAny apparently funny song which is 'set to the tune of I will Survive'Chain emailsPeople who spend all day text messaging someone - why not just fuckin phone them?Sting - a house'mate' of mine, who is a gimp, made me sit through the Parkinson interview- this man must be the most pretentious wanker ever to set foot on the planet

Excellent stuff Sebsy! People who come out with shitey phrases, should be shot..not banished..the worst one is "Then you woke up and had some shreddies" fuckin annoys me Frost, Last of the summer whine and Punk Flid..Why are they still with us? Text messaging is annoying, espescially when your trying to have a conversation in the pub, and all yer pals are fucking about with their wee toys! I Will Survive..Fuck Off Chain e-mails....are they not supposed to be taken as a joke? Sting...Head up arse. So everything is BANISHED except Donna Air, mouthy but tasty..So she Stays

Originally posted by Hank Wiseass© On the subject of OAP's just read this from RÖYKSOPP"If the album should be compared to anything,it's to the way old people have sex. I suppose we're trying to achieve a sound unlike any other,like maybe the sound of an exploding horse" Make a bit of a mess of your recording device.