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My friend Melissa and I were the rowdiest broads at school, and often were told such by (insert random schooler here), so we finally got a small, pocket sized giftbox for us each that we'd written "balls box" on, and any time someone questioned our nerve, we 'whipped out our balls' so to speak.
Random anecdote, that. 
I dig your new pic, Mr. Campbell. It was really sweet of you to volunteer to appear in Bolton's living nativity scene this year.
You'll note Mary is absent owing to the difficult involved in finding a Bolton virgin.
Actually the worst thing about that pic is that Rich has a silly hat on and I don't.
I was actually staring at it trying to work out where everyone is....it was either early on and everyone was sitting around outside the tent (how bizzarre, they treated the tent like a dancefloor with all the usual "who goes first" politics)...but I do look ballbagged so more likely it;s just before dawn and everyone else is dancing on the beach or the rocks or half way up a small cliff.
you've done this internet stalker thing before haven't you?
My God Jemma may be one of the few people on Earth to think Bangor is nice. Result!
Gnu Odor wrote: I dig your new pic, Mr. Campbell. It was really sweet of you to volunteer to appear in Bolton's living nativity scene this year.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: You'll note Mary is absent owing to the difficult involved in finding a Bolton virgin.
I'm monitoring the Bolton webcam this very minute searching for such a creature.
Hey that's where i did my degree! I work just up the road from the College (now a University fact fans). You should work for the CIA Gnu.
Bangor looks very nice Steve, but i'd be more impressed if you had statistics with the pictures such as:
Number of pubs Number of off licenses Number of kebab shops/burger bars Number of patrolling police
No...the correct reply was ... "OMG wahat a beautiful town, stick the kettle on and put a bottle of something nice in the fridge, I'll be on the 6 O'clock flight"
Missy Jem wrote: Bangor looks very nice Steve, but i'd be more impressed if you had statistics with the pictures such as:
Number of pubs Number of off licenses Number of kebab shops/burger bars Number of patrolling police
Pubs: more than churches, that's all we ever worked out for sure...everything from Moe's through hood bars to exquiste posh Joints filled with wankers who think they deserve to be there (we call them "fur coat no knickers" people).
Off licenses: in addition to the booze section of the chainstores (I love the English...NI store NEVER put booze in the same room as food), there are several including one fitted with a walk in refrigerated warehouse. Last closing is 11PM.
Nosh: 3 excellent Indians, 5 or 6 decent chineses (including one exeptional one I am addicted to toally...the guy has pork ribs with salt and chillie in the pan before I get to the counter). Couple of very good kebab houses, a Pzzeria that I think is average but all the yachty fuckers say is the best the get to eat out of anywhere, plus some other average ones. All the usual swill-in-polystyrene options are available. We also have a truly amazing chippy, let down only by the staff being vile little terrorist/chav offsping.
Police: at closing time there are usually 100 armed officers looking for trouble (all the late night bars ar within 100yrds of each other and kick out in sync, so it's not unreasonable). Most average nights there's a duty officer and a single patrol car. Smiling and not pointing guns at our cops will get you a long way...if they think you're into one side or other or you're gobby you're doomed (before anyone starts about cops being biased...they break heads in this town, and there's only orange heads to be broken...it is a god given right of the two communities in NI to gurn their fuckin lamps out about how the cops work only for the other side)
Downside...not everyone's as nice as me, we're a bit backward in many ways...and then there's fucktard season.
Steve Campbell wrote: No...the correct reply was ... "OMG wahat a beautiful town, stick the kettle on and put a bottle of something nice in the fridge, I'll be on the 6 O'clock flight"
OMFG what a beautiful town, sod the kettle, i'll bring a bottle and lets hit Bangor. It's your round Billy.
A new liver by the sound of it! If i was coming, i'd have a glass of stout to be polite, then start on red wine with malibu chasers then get on the brandy! Hmmmm, got a taste for it now. On my first Christmas do tomorrow so need to psyche myself up for that!!
I am capable of looking like a proper lady when i got out, and even quite glamorous for a Bolton bird. Then 4 hours later i look like i've been beaten by the ugly stick. Hair majorly out of place, make-up down the face, red wine down my top - nice!
Still want to come drinking with me on NOOLer day?
Jesus, would you two just meet up somewhere?
That is, if Puspits can find the spare time.
C'mon already.
More than ever 
Besides...I start out really repulsive, and by the time you've consumed your own body weight in wine and spirits, I probably wont look all that bad :D
Glad you mentioned The Black...the only pub thatdoes a really awesome pint, well....if you ask for red wine you'll probably get riena with vodka in it.
Gnu Odor wrote: Jesus, would you two just meet up somewhere?
That is, if Puspits can find the spare time.
C'mon already.
Hey you we're just friends! I'm newly single and enjoying it, Stevie just likes pulling my pigtails. However i will be getting him drunk on NOOLer day. Why don't you come Gnu, i'm sure you can afford the airfare. Wanna meet all of you freaks.
PS: Hope Puspits isn't directed at me... or there'll be trouble boy!
No, that's for me :D It's why I'm NOT stalking such an incredible catch
They all think it's big and clever now.....wait til they get a load of us with a skinfull.
But, hey, yer welcome to come over for a pint anytime.
I have this vision of the two of us propping each other up in street in Manc at like 5am, totally lost, probably on the run from greater manc police, and not at all worried .... in unison... "I fookin loves you...where u bin all my thingy?"
"let;s get married" "yeah" "no, actually sod that,let's get a kebab" "YEAH!!"
And I'm sure we'd have a blast! I'm just worried we might start trying to out-do each other. Where would it end? We couldn't go watching any live bands for a start, i've got a nasty habit of joining in.
Me:
:\peek:
I see you left Bass free for me:) Are you sure you'll be safe near my sound desk jemma?
EDIT: and yes....the out-do syndrome is deadly....it happens with me and racael all the time and usually ends with me and her curled up in balls on the floor pissing ourselves and everyone else giving stern looks and making their excuses. Her Ex tried to sling me one night for eating her neil diamond CD..and was just like "it's "The Rachael"'s house, I will leave when asked by her." He looked like he was about to knock my fucking head in when from somewher nearby came this voice saying.... "you throw him out you cunt and you're goin out after him, but he'll get back in...and anyway Mr funny-cunt's gonna buy me a new CD" (it wasn't a threat either, she just knew that the CD had been destoryed for a laugh and would be replaced without question)
And I think I mentioned that Esther and I used to have a circle around us right at the front of gigs.....no one dared enter between the pogoing fuckwitt and the flying masses of Est's hair and flailing limbs, it simply wasn;t worth it.
Sadly, my mainest of main women at the minute, Leanne, is no use at all on that score. She's great for getting me to decry authority and lead work rebellions, just by sitting looking deeply proud and impressed when I rant. Since I been off tho I have found that she is both difficult to incite and makes very little effort to inspire me to naughtiness.
Not actually having a GF has some serious advantages you get to pick all the best bits from all the best chicks :D
For crying out loud, don't let me near anything:
A) expensive 2) electronic three) fragile dee) under-age (ha ha)
I'm a clumsy sod. We would fall out!!
LOL I too am one of THE most cack handed donkey fotted morons you will ever have to cross the street to avoid.
Add my painful bits, their swelling, and the joy of opoid painkillers at the moment, and I can't even stand up without pulling my keyboard and mouse off the table.
You will therefor never see a sound desk set up more neatly....odd since by nature I am a filthy slob.
And Jem....the kit's hired :D
It occurs to me that GNU's a right git actually....inciting us and encouraging us...but HE wont be there to see the results..(picture a bar, at closing time, devastated, with baffled looking peope wandering around with WTF written on their faces.....run Barbers adaggio for strings in your head if it helps the image)
Steve
Maybe I could bring my bass along to NOOL day and you can show me how to play the bloody thing properly 
Samantha Chapman wrote: Steve
Maybe I could bring my bass along to NOOL day and you can show me how to play the bloody thing properly
I dunno, it only gives me 4 months to learn myself :)
suspect you'll never see a room with so many bassplayers in it but not one among them who can play a walking bassline :D You should get Our Jack to show you a thing or two....just so u can tell your mates...."well actually i've had lessons with..." Never gonna happen tho, you'd just sit there behind your bass grinning inanely at poor Jack saying "you know Barney! what's he like? is he as gorgeous in real life? does he smell nice"
Here boy...good dog....fetch my coat...good boy
Samantha Chapman wrote: Steve
Maybe I could bring my bass along to NOOL day and you can show me how to play the bloody thing properly
What????? 
I'm not having that bint Chappers outdoing me. I'm gonna bring my recorder, and triangle, yeah.
Bloody show off, tut.
Missy Jem wrote:
Samantha Chapman wrote: Steve
Maybe I could bring my bass along to NOOL day and you can show me how to play the bloody thing properly
What?????
I'm not having that bint Chappers outdoing me. I'm gonna bring my recorder, and triangle, yeah.
Bloody show off, tut.
Did I mention grade 5 piano as well?! Sorry, I forgot :D
How the fuck did I go from ugly women trampling each other to death to escape me to hot chicks warring over me?
i need a lie down. 3 years should do it.
Steve Campbell wrote:
Samantha Chapman wrote: Steve
Maybe I could bring my bass along to NOOL day and you can show me how to play the bloody thing properly
I dunno, it only gives me 4 months to learn myself :)
suspect you'll never see a room with so many bassplayers in it but not one among them who can play a walking bassline :D You should get Our Jack to show you a thing or two....just so u can tell your mates...."well actually i've had lessons with..." Never gonna happen tho, you'd just sit there behind your bass grinning inanely at poor Jack saying "you know Barney! what's he like? is he as gorgeous in real life? does he smell nice"
Actually, that's a great idea.
Jem, you're welcome to Steve
You're both into you NO, you could look like bag ladies and still qualify as hot. (you don't BTW) Besides Jem, you don't need to compete, I'm yours until you're bored and hand me over.. "errrr who wants a slightly damaged boghopper, I think that last triple tvr burned something out, but he still tells good stories"
